Relaxation Archives - A Father of Twin Boys

Relaxation is a very important thing, but it is something that I really struggle with. And by struggle, I mean I am awful at it.

Sitting on the boat this week while I am on vacation, it hit me like a ton of bricks, I don’t know how to relax. The entire time, I kept thinking about work, what my week was going to look like, what the bills were going to look like for the week, etc. BUT, there is a great thing about this, I realized what I was doing and I figured out who I could talk with to help me.

I also know that it is going to take me time to figure out a long term solution/strategy to overcome this struggle in my life or as I more frequently refer to it as a challenge. For me, I can usually go and cook and that will help clear my mind, but when I am out of the office, the texts and emails come in just the same as if I were in the office and due to the nature of my job, it is hard to really disengage from work.

So, as I type this at the kitchen table, the day before we leave to head back home, I have already cringed at looking at my schedule for next week and I have about 30 minutes free each day. Only 30 minutes. My friend that is a psychologist asked the question if it was even sometimes worth me going away and I laughed and didn’t respond. See, that is how hard it is for me to relax because I know that when I am out of the office, I am mentally still in the office.

Going forward, I think that I’m going to try something new to help me learn some new relaxation techniques. For starters, I am going to start taking a week and a half to two weeks off and I’m going to block the first week back from any meetings that are not priorities. I have already delegated a lot of my work to my team, so that they can handle a lot of it. Are these things going to help, I don’t know but I certainly hope so and I think that it is at least a good first step.

I have also talked with my friend that is a psychologist and we are going to setup regular calls so that we can discuss more techniques to help me relax even more. Because the more that I can do now to relax, the better of a father that I will be. Instead of giving my sons my 100% undivided attention this week, I thought about work way too much. And shame on me, because my sons and my wife deserve that from me. So, life lesson here kids, learn these things at an early age. Learn how to relax and prioritize and learn that it is your responsibility to be the best father that you can to your kids, because they will not be little kids very long.

There are two words that I love hearing more than anything “DOWN TIME”. These are two words that I love to hear from others and that I love saying, because we all need it. We all need to slow down and sometimes just think out loud.

A few nights ago my wife and I were discussing life, where we are, somethings that we needed to talk about that were bothering us, etc. And as we were talking I realized that it is ok to think out loud and express thoughts and concerns and feelings. Sometimes you just have to let it go.

Lately, without going into a back story here, I’ve had to think out loud a lot with friends. I’ve needed to share somethings with them that I just had to get off my chest. And I needed for them to be my sounding board and to just listen. I am fortunate that there is a core group of guy friends that we can do this with. We can text or call and just say, “I need to vent and I need you to listen.” What that really means, I need to think out loud for a minute and I don’t need interruptions or opinions unless asked. This group of friends have been able to listen, provide feedback and suggestions and basically, be what friends should be, there for me and I for them.

So in a few weeks, one of my good friends and myself are going down to his lake cabin and just relax. And I can’t believe how exciting I am about going to the trip. I’ll be able to cook and we’ll just laugh and think out loud. It is going to give me a chance to step away from life and rest.