Patience

Life lessons for my sons when it comes to car buying and honestly when the boys are older all of these car buying lessons could be mute.

  1. Do your research. If time permits, read as much as you can about the car that you want and the safety features.
  2. Take your time. Again, if time permits, you don’t have to have to purchase a car as soon as you walk on the lot. As a matter of fact, I would argue that you do the majority of the negotiations prior to going for a test drive.
  3. Salesmen will say anything to get you into the car. End of the month sales. First of the month sales. Have to make the deal now. It is all crap. Salesmen will make the deal if they are good and want to close a deal.
  4. Trust your gut feeling. When it comes to negotiating, be fair in your ask, but trust your gut feeling too.
  5. Walk away. ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS be prepared to walk away.

This past week, I spent I don’t know how much time negotiating a new vehicle for my wife. It had roughly two weeks since her accident and she was getting antsy to find a replacement. So, she gave me her criteria of must have features and the make and models that she wanted and off I went. I did a few TrueCar searches, both through TrueCar.com and also through USAA Buying Services and I just could not find exactly what I wanted at first. I have always heard about buying brand new cars, so I really wanted to find a low mileage used SUV.

I did my research, as quickly as I could and found 2 options that were both affordable, low mileage and the exact features that my wife wanted. We tested drove both vehicles and liked the both, were not 100% in love with either, but they would have worked, but because we were in a rental, I didn’t exactly know how much time we had with it.

So this past Wednesday, I started negotiating for a 2017 Kia Sorento LX with 9 miles on it. The price, I felt was a little high, but was whiling to trade that because of the mileage, but I was ready to make the deal but the dealer would not negotiate. My Plan B had only 6,000 miles and was $1,500 less than the brand new car and they too were not negotiating either. I was ready to walk away.

Thursday night, I felt defeated. My wife was upset because she didn’t get the SUV that she wanted and she was really frustrated with me. Not mad, but disappointed. But, I kept saying over and over again, that these were not the right ones. Something just didn’t feel right and I just kept thinking that the price was too high.

I walked away from the first deal because of a gut feeling and I am so glad that I did. The salesman tried to do what he could and we were literally $350 apart and they didn’t want to come down in price and I was already above what I really wanted to pay. And I’m really glad that I did walk away from it, because after not sleeping on Thursday night, as I got settled in on Friday morning I got an email from another deal with the exact same model we wanted, more safety features than the other two, the color that we wanted and best of all, the exact price that I wanted. Literally. It was exactly where I thought the SUV should be priced and my wife was happy.

I emailed the salesman that reached out to me a few questions, confirmed that it only had 6, that is right, 6 miles on it and the features and I was sold. I knew how the SUV drove and rode and with the other factors, this was going to be one of the easiest sales this guy had to make. And it was. We drove it for 4 miles and closed the deal. No negotiations were needed, as they got to where I wanted in 1 single email.

So, guys here is the moral of the story, trust your gut. There are other cars, it just sometimes takes a little while.

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Love is Patient, love kind.

Ever been to a wedding a hear that bible verse before? Better yet, have you been to a wedding and not heard it before? I was thinking this morning about that verse and how relevant it is for marriage, but maybe even more so for parenting.

Last night I was trying to launch a new website for work when my wife screamed downstairs, so off I went. As I reach the bathroom I hear “but we don’t use that much toilet paper to wipe our butts!” That is never a good sign.

I grabbed the plunger and off I went to try and loosen up the toilet. Honestly, it was not as bad as I had feared. It took maybe a minute? But what it showed me was a difference in how I handle things and how I was raised.

Growing up, I would have gotten in trouble for stopping up the toilet. Maybe grounded? I stopped for a minute, found Baby B and hugged him and told him that he did a good job of wiping his butt and then we went to the bathroom and I showed him how to get toilet paper off the role and not use as much as he did.

Love is patient, love is kind.

Could it have been bad, sure! But I have had to fix that once before for Baby A, so it isn’t the end of the world. Could I have gotten upset, sure but why? He was trying and didn’t do something intentional. So why react like he did? Instead, I used this as a time to show that I was proud of him and that he did a good job.

Parenting is hard and sometimes, we do have to get upset with our kids. Sometimes, it is hard to be patient, but they are learning and they are trying, so why shouldn’t we show a gentle and loving side to them?  If we teach our children to show love toward others, to be patient toward others and most importantly, be kind toward others, we will have done a great job as parents.

Love is patient, love is kind.

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Love is patient, love is kind.

How many times have you heard that at a wedding? But have you thought about it as it pertains to your kids? With twins, usually if one kid is sick, the other kid will get it too.

This morning, I was cooking breakast, listening to Miles Davis as the kids were playing. Baby A was getting over the croup cough and a fever and Baby B was coming down with a fever. And as I cooked, I thought of a familiar Bible verse and I thought about it in a completely different way:

love is patient, love is kind

Baby A was trying us, he was tired, he was fussy, he was trying to fight with his brother who was fighting a fever and I was trying to cook breakfast and the kids were fighting on sofa and it hit me

Love is patient, love is kind

and it can really mean multiple things at different times in our lives.  It can be a bible verse that is read during your wedding, in times of trouble, I have even heard that verse read at a funeral, but not once have I read/heard that verse rreferenced to child raising.

Today was a trying day.  One kid that was on the minds, one kid that was fighting a fever and my patience was really being tested.  I was struggling to be able to cook and do a little cleaning while the boys were fighting. But, as I thought about the verse, the word that hit me the hardest was love. Because without love, there is no patience. Without love, none of this happens.

So as we get one boy over a sickness and another through the sickness, love remains.

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