OK Archives - A Father of Twin Boys

I have noticed that I use the phrase “it’s ok” a lot. When the boys fall and scrap their knee, when the boys are struggling with sharing, or like tonight when Baby A awoken with a night terror, I rocked him and tried to calm him down by saying “it’s ok”.

As a patent it is our job to provide and protect out kids. But there are times when it’s ok is a lie. Sometimes I think that we are trying to convince ourselves, in order for to believe that things are going to be ok, when we aren’t necessarily sure or not? Tonight was just another bad dream, but at some point it will be more serious, because after all they are children. And at some point in time, I’ll keep telling my sons that “it’s ok”, to not only calm them down, but to calm myself down too.

But tonight, as the temperatures have started turning cooler and as Baby A and I rocked, life was more than ok. I was able to hold and comfort him. I was able to just rock and hear him breathe. And for those few minutes, we were both ok. We were both at peace and we were both drifting off to sleep.

And as my boys grow up, they go through life, I hope that they realize this little life lesson. I hope that at some point in time, when the roles will reverse and I am the one scared, they he will look at me and say that it’s ok.

At dinner the other night, my wife and I were discussing something that had happened that morning. And I guess, we were starting to get short with each other and Baby A grabbed my wife’s hand and my hand and just said OK!. Mommy Ok! Daddy, OK!

And then he went back to playing a game on my wife’s phone, but in that moment, I had an immediate flash back to be being a kid with my parents, except, when I asked my parents to stop fussing, they didn’t. But as soon as my son said OK!, my wife and I both just stopped. We didn’t say a word and I couldn’t.

I couldn’t say anything because I had too many flash blacks, thinking about my parents and listening to them fuss and argue. But my son taught me that there is a time and place. There is a time to have discussions and in front of your kids is not the place. And even though we were at a restaurant and were not loud or disrespectful, it effected my son.

Sometimes, you can learn a lot from your children, but are you listening? Are you watching them and picking up their cues? I know that I have learned not only not to fuss in front of them, but I’ve learned unconditional love.