Tonight, I wish that I could have a do over. I wish that I had handled bed time a little differently. But, I learned a valuable lesson in the process.

My wife was home first tonight as I needed to stay late and wrap a few things up  at the office, then I had to run an errand on the way home, including grabbing dinner. My wife got the kids upstairs shortly after I arrived and they were wild monkeys. They were running around the room, stomping on the floor like dinosaurs and were acting like 3 year olds that got a burst of energy.

Well, after we ran through the night time routine, changing, settling down, watching a quick show, etc. it was quiet time, except, the boys still were not calm. Baby A had to goto the bathroom, which meant that Baby B had to then go. Then Baby B wanted to lay in the floor, so Baby A had to do that too. Back and forth this goes on and finally, my wife gets called and has to be at work at midnight. Well crap! (note in my head, I didn’t say crap, as this was the 3rd night in a row that I was putting the boys down, only quickly realizing that I would have to put them down the next two nights too. So 5 nights in a row and I got frustrated, not to mention that I was tired. So my wife leaves, Baby B has a melt down. Uncontrollable outbursts of crying and kicking the floor and it took me about 10 – 15 minutes to get him calmed down.

Baby A then wanted to rock and so did Baby B and finally, I had everyone close to being asleep. Baby B laid down on the floor beside me and it was then that I realized that I had been trying for almost 2 hours to get them asleep. So, I was frustrated about being tired. I was frustrated about the fact that the boys wouldn’t settle down and then I realized that Baby B was snoring. 1 down, 1 to go.

I started talking with Baby A, I was trying to get him to lay down and it just wasn’t working. And I was frustrated. I tried reasoning. I tried being nice. I tried being stern. And then, he looks at me and just says 2 words “Just Go”. Ouch. My son told me to leave his room, but it wasn’t the words, it was that he dropped his head and said it.

It was at that point, I realized, he was just as frustrated as I was. In reality, we both wanted the same thing, to goto bed. He couldn’t settle down and relax and goto sleep and I couldn’t get him to settle down and relax and goto sleep. But it was in that instant, I realized, my being frustrated, wasn’t at the fact that he wasn’t asleep yet, now approaching the 3 hour mark of trying to get him down. Instead, it was that whatever my wife did tonight, didn’t get them calmed and ready for bed and that I couldn’t get them down as quickly as I normally do.

I stopped, I smiled and held out my arms and Baby A came over and hugged me. I kissed him and told him that I loved him and apologized if I was short with him. We rocked for a few minutes and we talked and all was forgiven and right in the world. But more importantly than that, it taught me a lesson about parenting. I love my kids more than anything else in this world and the phrase “Just Go” stopped me in my tracks tonight. But I am thankful to have learned the lesson that we both can be frustrated, but I can’t let them see my frustration.