Mistakes

It is truly hard for me to say this, but I made a mistake recently in my career and though it is not the end of the world, it comes with a price.

Now, what could be so bad to admit that I had made a mistake? Simply put, I should not have changed jobs. Or at least, I should have held out for a different one. But there were reasons why I changed when I did and why I went with this role. I went in thinking that this was a good fit, but the reality is very simple, it is not the best fit.

Having worked for the last 11 years with the same organization, I felt that it was time to change but in reality, it just was not the change that I needed to make. So I have been in contact with other organizations and hope to turn this mistake into a positive change.

Today, I am grateful for the decision that I made and the opportunity to learn from my mistake, but at the same time, I am ready for a new change. But as I told the boys, mistakes will be made, but the bigger challenge is what can be learned from the mistakes?

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Sometimes, we find ourselves needing a do over or in this case, taking a “Take 2”.

Back in January, so 8 months ago, I took time off from drinking. I felt that I needed to reset myself. I needed to take a break. I wanted to see what it was like, not drinking for the month.

Could I do it? Would it be hard? These were all things that I asked myself, before doing it and during the month. But what I realized, was that it was not bad at all. That even included going out with my wife, when she would have a glass of wine with dinner. And it was ok.

So, it is time to do a “Take 2”.

The last few months have been a struggle for me. And when I mean struggle, I mean, I have not dealt with things very well, work, family, etc. and I turned to beer or wine as a way to escape.

This past week, I realized, enough was enough. I needed another break, but this time, longer than a month. I needed to figure out, why am I drinking to escape these things, instead of dealing with them either A) in a healthier way or B) just dealing with them period.

Work has about killed me. Literally and figuratively speaking. My wife’s schedule has about killed me. Literally and figuratively speaking. We have changed my son’s ADHD medication and well, you get the idea.

But, enough is enough.

I don’t like who I am when I drink. And the last few months, I didn’t stop with the normal 1 or 2. And there is the problem. Before, I could stop, no problem. I could realize where I was with it and control it, this time, I haven’t done that very well.

I have struggled to figure out the balance and I need to be the best father and husband that I can and continuing down this path, was not going to be doing that. I couldn’t be who my family needs me to be, if I’m drinking or at at least, how I was doing it.

So, I’ve started up with trying to identify the triggers in how I am feeling and ready to take this on straight ahead, again. I’ve done it once, I can do this again. But this time, it is different. I feel different. I feel excited, not like dreading it when I did it in January. Sure, I’ve got to share with people that I’m not drinking, when they offer me a beer and that is ok.

Part of this, is being ok with me and right now, I’m happy with the decision that I have made. I’m embarrassed at some of my behavior, but that is something that i have to live with. But, I’m pleased with knowing that the first day, was not bad at all. And let’s be honest, there are more benefits to this than negatives.

  1. Better sleep.
  2. No regrets the next morning.
  3. Showing my kids, that it is ok to mess up, but learning from those mistakes.
  4. Facing issues and tackling them now, before they are truly an issue.
  5. Being who I need to be for my family.

I’m not perfect. Far from it. But on this “Take 2”, I’m looking forward to the positive benefits and this change. I’ll post an update in a few weeks as to how this is going and, the boys preparing for school.

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Sons, I want you to listen to this one piece of advice, always think! Think before acting. Think before speaking. Think before doing. Thinking is a crucial part of growing up and adapting to life.

I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life because I didn’t stop to think before acting. I’ve lost friends and loved ones because I reacted first instead of stopping and thinking first. Now, not all of those losses were necessarily bad, but some where. Some I wish that I could go back in time and do differently.

As you grow up, you’ll make mistakes, just as we all have and continue to do. But, I ask you to do something that no one ever taught me to do, reflect on those mistakes and ask yourself one question. Ask yourself, would you do that again? Would you respond like that again? Would you act that same way? Would you treat that person the same way? If your answer is yes, then move on. If your answer is no, make amends with that person.

Think through your decisions first, that is a valuable piece of advice that I can give you as your father.

Recently, I made a mistake with your mother. Was it bad? Yes, yes it was. Could it have been worse, HECK YES! But did I learn something? YES! I learned a valuable lesson that I need to stop and think before acting. So, learn from my mistakes in life. Learn when you should act vs. react. And learn to stop and think before doing, trust me, it will save you a lot of headaches and heartaches in life.

Love, Dad

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