Life Lessons

No, this isn’t a religious post, but more a post about how our Children hear and repeat everything that we say. And what is even funnier, is when they repeat things and say it at the right time and in the right way.

A few weeks ago, my wife and I were goofing off and I was on a role with one liners and quick comments and I had just seen the #Hashtag YouTube video with Jimmy Fallon & Justin Timberlake and started doing #hashtags in everything that I was saying.  Well, one of the #hashtags was The Gospel, meaning, the truth after something that my wife said and she and I laughed and kept on going. Well, last night, I got home and my wife and I were talking about something from work, nothing serious, just a quick conversation that I thought that was funny and I responded by basically saying that I was right and that she was wrong. In no less than 5 seconds that words came out of my mouth, Boy A chimed in with #The Gospel and I thought that I was going to lose it.

The timing was perfect. The way that he said it. I was doubled over at the sink and had tears running down my face from laughing so hard. Our kids listen to us and look for laughs when they can. After a long day, I needed that laugh. I needed to be reminded that life is short and that sometimes we have to laugh. And sometimes that laughing is a way to put life back into perspective. So, today or tomorrow or whenever, remember 2 things as parents: 1) Laugh and laugh as often as you can and 2) your kids are listening and you never know when they are going to repeat you.

#The Gospel

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Sometimes in life, we have to all be calm and peaceful, even in the most difficult of times. With Boy B, transitions can and sometimes still are hard on him. Some days, he can roll with the transitions and we are good, then others, especially if he is hungry, they are harder.

About a year ago, I tried something with Boy B and it somehow has worked and worked really well and it is just something that is between he and I. But if he is getting worked up or anxious or or a struggle with a transition, I would simply point to my nose and he would stop. He would stop and would walk over to me, put his nose to mine and then I would start by saying “Be calm and peaceful” and he would take a deep breath and we would talk about what was going on. Somehow, this has really worked and worked well. And the funny thing, is that he only really does this with me, but by simply touching my nose and then him coming to me, his entire demeanor changes.

So last night, while doing FaceTime with a friend, who was going through some dating struggles (that God I’m not dating anymore), Baby B walked over and simply said, “Be calm and be peaceful” and then there was a dramatic pause and he finished with “Like the Great White Shark!” And I couldn’t help but laugh and laugh to the point of almost being in tears.

There is something about the phrase, be calm and be peaceful that even quietly saying it, seems to bring a sense of peace and comfort. And for me, being able to have this connection with my son, that I can calmly and quietly get his attention and get him refocused, is just awesome. I don’t have to raise my voice or get upset. I just have to touch my nose and he knows that it is time to be calm and peaceful.

 

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You really should not laugh at your kids, but sometimes, they just say things that are really funny and at a point in time where you just need a laugh. So, there is a back story here.

Most Sunday mornings, the boys and I are ready for church within about 20 – 25 minutes and we get ready and head off to the van and wait. We wait for my wife and sometimes, it takes a while, a long while.  And I’m not complaining, but 20 – 30 min waiting sometimes does get frustrating. So a month or two ago, I was in a quick witting mood and cued up the song Waitin’ On A Woman (see below) by Brad Paisley and as my wife got in the van, the boys and I sang along with Brad. She would give me the even look, the boys would laugh and we would bump fists and off to church we go.

Well, this was done several times, usually before church and then I had forgotten about it. So last night, the boys and I read our night time story from Winnie The Pooh and as they were getting settled down, Boy B looked out the window for his mom and asked where she was? I started my reply of “She is at work….” and before I could say that she would be home soon, Boy A chimed in that we were just Waitin’ On A Woman. And it was at that moment that I lost it. I laughed so hard until I cried, literally.

The reality is very simple, every guy has spent time Waitin’ On A Woman and I might as well teach the boys a solid life lesson now while they are young, because they too will be waiting one day. But, if you get the right girl, then Waitin’ On A Woman is worth it.


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To my sons, this is my hope and wishes for you.

Regrets, yeah I’ve a few in my life and some of those have seemed to have crept up lately and got me thinking.  So I wanted to share a few thoughts and ideas.

  • Life is to short to have any regrets, so live today as it is your last. Live life to the fullest everyday, as we aren’t guaranteed that there is a tomorrow.
  • Follow your heart and your passions for your career and know that you are able to change directions at anytime. BUT, choose a career that you love doing and the day that you wake up and dread going into work that day, it is time to change.
  • Travel. See the country. Eat in dives. Drink really good beer. Visit the Grand Canyon and sit in silence and listen to the sounds. Visit the beach on the east coast and put your toes in the sand and take a cross country flight to LA and goto the beach there and do the same thing. Experience as much as you can of local cultures and talk with strangers. Yes, today as you are a child, do not talk with strangers, but when you are an adult. Talk with strangers and learn and absorb the culture.
  • Learn to cook. You are both well on your way to this now as you both help me a lot to cook or grill. But learn to cook and learn to cook different foods and really challenge yourself and your love of food. And remember, a cheap grill is just that, cheap. Spend the money for a nice grill and it is an investment that will be well worth it.
  • Save your money. It isn’t the most important thing, but will afford you the ability to do the things that you love doing.
  • Faith – have faith in something. We will do our best to introduce you, but it will ultimately be up to you to continue that faith in a higher being.
  • The old saying is very true. It is better to give than receive. Help someone else that is less fortunate than you are. You have never gone a day of wanting in your life. You have been blessed beyond what you’ll ever be able to know and understand, so help someone that needs a chance.
  • Your mom and I will not always be there for you, so learn how to take care of yourself and learn to pickup after yourself. I was 21 before I learned how to wash clothes, you will learn before then and your wives will thank you and us.
  • And this might be the most important life lesson that I have for you. When you meet the love of your life and you will know it and please, do not let her go. TRUST ME on this one guys, you’ll regret it everyday if you do and it will cause a lot of heartache, frustrations and struggles. If you learn nothing else from me, learn this.

Life is hard. Life will throw you curve balls, but you have to sit back and wait for the right pitch to take and promise me that you’ll live your life to the fullest and life with no regrets.

These are just a few of the life lessons that I hope to be able to share with you throughout your life, but life is too short to live with regrets.

 

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Every had one of those days? Sure, we all have.

Yesterday, was one of those days for me and I learned a valuable less and a trick that really helped.

I had been in an all day meeting and literally as I walked out, my phone rang and it was my wife. I knew that she was on the way to pick up the kids, but it wasn’t completely out of the norm for her to call and ask what I was cooking for dinner or grab something at store, etc. But her voice was different and I knew immediately wrong. “I was in an accident and rear ended someone” that was all that she said.  My heart dropped and after I made sure that she was ok, I just had to get off the phone because I was beyond frustrated.

My mind raced, how bad was the damage, was the other person hurt, how in the hell did my wife rear end a second car in 2 months? So, I had to make a decision in how did I respond and react to my wife, because I was not happy. Accidents happen, but I was pretty sure it was something that was avoidable. On my walk to my jeep I texted my buddy and told him that I need to call and vent and he said to call when ready. I literally got in my jeep, dialed my buddy and I went off. Just a few minutes later, after my buddy let me vent, I was calm and relaxed and that 5 minutes helped me for my drive home and saved the night completely. And when I got home, I walked in, hugged and kissed the boys and my wife and when we talked, my wife got upset. But I realized my wife wasn’t mad at me, but she was upset with herself and her embarrassed.

It was one of those days, but I realized that I have a great group of friends and that I can pick up the phone and vent and it saved the night.  But I am just grateful that my wife was ok and that my boys were not with her during the accident, but there was no damage to the van and limited damage to the other person’s car. Life is short and we have to be grateful for the moment.

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“If there ever comes a day when we can’t be together keep me in your heart. I’ll stay there forever.” A.A. Milne aka – Winnie the Pooh

I saw this quote recently and it reminded me of the first time that I had read it, which was after the death of a friend in High School and recently, my buddy and I were talking about my mother-in-law’s death. And it got me thinking about the impact on my son’s lives and would they remember me, if something happened to them? Would they keep me in their heart, when it comes a day for my death.

I’ve tried to do what is right by my kids and I hope that I’m showing them the importance of putting others needs before their own. Treating others with respect, and they will be respected in return. I hope that they would continue upon the road of a deepen faith. And I hope that they would take care of their mother and to always make decisions based on their gut feeling and to trust that feeling.

I know that when it is time for me to say goodbye to my parents, though I would be sad, my parents instilled in me values and respect and to have a deeper faith. But they also showed me what it is like to be a parent. To put your kids in front of everything else.

“If there ever comes a day when we can’t be together keep me in your heart. I’ll stay there forever.” – Words of wisdom from Winnie the Pooh

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Sometimes in life, we find ourselves falling down, both literally and figuratively.

Life can be hard, work, kids, family pressures, holidays, projects, home repairs, and the list just keeps on going. But it isn’t so much how these events happen or even when they happen, but is how we deal with these things as we are falling down. And it is my hope that as I go through life, as I go through the challenges of being a parent, of being a husband and most importantly a father, that my boys will see how I deal with life as I am falling down, but also how I get up.

My wife and I have both really crazy work lives and schedules, as we are both in the medical industry. I work on the Marketing/IT side and my wife works directly with families regarding end of life care. So there is a lot of stress and pressures from both sides.  Sure, it is hard at times, not seeing each other, adding additional work load for the other at home, etc. But, it is how we respond and deal with it, that is so important.  How we interact with each other, listen to each other help the other when they are falling down.

Last night, I was walking down the steps and was holding Baby B & while we were walking and he was making animal sounds, I slipped. I slipped and fell halfway down the steps with him. I was lucky, he didn’t get hurt. I was holding him in a way that was able to protect him from the fall and shield him from getting hurt. Myself on the other hand, I more than likely broke a thumb, my forearm took a beating and my back is hurting. But even though falling down the stairs is hard, physically and ego wise, I wanted to make sure that my son was ok, which he was. But I wanted him to see how I got up.  I didn’t get upset, I didn’t get mad. After checking him out good, I was able to realize that I was going to be in more pain than he was.

Falling down is part of life, literally.  But we have options. We can choose to sit and be upset about falling down or we can get up, wipe our pants off and do something to prevent that happening again.

 

 

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There are several people that I admire and look up and President George H Bush is one of those men. And after reading this article and watching the video, I think that it only solidifies that feeling even more.  And I thought that this answer in particular spoke to me:

I have learned from him the importance of service. My grandfather says he learned his passion for helping others from his mom. He wrote about this in a letter in 1997: “Early on, my mom gave us profound advice. It sounds simple now but when I became president I knew just how sound it was. Be honest. Tell the truth. Be kind. Care about the other guy — help him. Don’t look down on anyone. You have an obligation to help others.”

I liked this quote because, it is a simple and true value of life. Be kind to others and help them when they needed it. This sounds just like the advice that my Grandfather gave me recently. It is a simple truth.

But then again, President George H Bush and my Grandfather lived through a different time and generation. They lived through and served during World War II. They lived and witness Vietnam. They lived through really hard economic times. And they both have said the same things, Be Honest, Tell the Truth, Help others and don’t judge. Words to live by.

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Please take a moment to read the entire interview by Jenna Bush Hager.

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I am a firm believer that no matter the circumstance, you are never to old to learn a life lesson, even from your children. And just that thing happened this weekend when Baby A politely said to my wife and I, “Be Nice!”.

Be Nice. That is what my son told my wife and I as we were, disagreeing on something. Be Nice! Something that you think should be easy, but my son perceived us disagreeing as not being very nice to each other and I guess, in retrospect, we probably were not.

And lesson learned too. I really need to focus on when a situation arises where my wife and I do not agree, that we either table the discussion or step away and talk. But we can’t disagree to the point that voices are being raised in front of the boys, we really should be nice to each other, as that as what we are trying to teach the boys.

So today, I texted my wife with the simple phrase “Be Nice!” and tonight, when we get a chance to sit down and talk about the week, we can be nice and talk through things, as we will disagree from time to time, but it is how we handle it that will determine the outcome and the impression that it leaves on our boys.

So Be Nice!

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There are lessons in life that we all must learn, but some are harder than others. Growing up, one of the things that I always remember my grandfather telling me was that when you go to bed, you drop all of your worries. That you do not worry about what happened today or yesterday and that tomorrow is a new day. But with that, he went a step further to say that forgiving, that that is one of the greatest gifts that we can give and that we should not hold onto anger, especially towards others.

I came across this Bible verse today: Luke 6 : 37-38 and it reads:

37 “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. 38 Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

One of the things that we are trying to teach the boys is that if they do something to the other or if they do something to someone else, that they have to say they are sorry. We want the boys to apologize and know that when they do something wrong. But, more importantly, we want the other to see and show forgiveness.

Saying you are sorry is easy, but forgiving, that is the hard part.

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