Exhausted Archives - A Father of Twin Boys

Last night, there was no excuse for my behavior. Ok, so maybe that is an extreme, but I had a really long day at work. I was not myself and was really in a bad mood.

As I was driving home, I listened to relaxing music, I tried talking with my Dad and well, that really didn’t help. I got home, the nanny didn’t really help. I changed, the nanny left, and it was just me and the boys. We played while I cooked dinner. I got plates set for dinner and some jazz loaded on my phone. The boys didn’t touch their grilled chicken and tater tots, they just wanted to play.

It was then I realized that their schedules were off. The nanny let them take a 2 1/2 hour nap earlier today, gave them ice cream at 5pm and their day was just off. And so was mine, but that is no excuse. It is no excuse for me to take my frustrations of my day out on my boys. I realize that I am just a human, but my sons did not do anything wrong tonight. And please understand, I wasn’t mean to my sons, but I didn’t have a lot of patience. So after dinner, we went upstairs and relaxed before we got ready for bed.

Baby B, as usual, he was asleep within minutes. Baby A, could not get settled. He was up and down. He had to pee. He had to look for a toy, which was under his pillow, he had to get a stuffed animal, then he had to look out the window, you get the idea. I was frustrated. I didn’t have the patience for the up and down. I was not in the mindset for him not being able to be settled. I just wanted him to goto sleep so that I could eat and wrap up some work from today.

But at the end of the day, there is no excuse in my getting frustrated with him. Is it his fault that he took a nap today? No. Is it his fault that he had to pee? No. Heck, we want him to be potty ed trained and he did what we have asked him to do.

Son, I promise to always put you first. I promise to put you above work. I promise to have more patience, especially on days that I have very little patience. There are no excuses. I love you.

I think one of the hardest things about being a parent, is how exhausted you can become. Lack of sleep, work problems, home problems, everyday life, etc. and it can just take a lot out of you.

The difference I think, is now not how exhausted you become, but how as a father we handle it. This morning, I woke up after about 3 hours of sleep and all I wanted to do was go back to bed. I had rocked Baby A at some point because he had a nightmare, I was exhausted, my wife did not get off work until really late, and both boys were cranky.

I had two options, get frustrated or put into perspective that they are little kids trying to figure out life and how to respond and deal with things themselves. And as my demeanor changed, so did the boys. They went from being cranky to sitting on the sofa and drinking their milk and as I sipped on my first morning cup of coffee, I became more relaxed.

Was I still exhausted, absolutely. But I had to respond and hoped to set a good example. But being exhausted is hard with little kids. I have so much respect for single parents.