It was 6 years ago today that my mother in law was killed in a car accident and it seems just like yesterday. There are so many things about that day that I’ll never be able to forget.

• Getting the call from my father in law after lunch.
• Having to tell my wife of 3 months that her mom, her best friend was dead.
• Calling my mom, because she and my mother in law were close. But because I also needed support.
• Hearing from a close friend that is a psychologist, that life doesn’t return to “normal” for at least 5 years and he was right on that.
• Knowing that one of the things we loved the most, snow, was the factor in her death.
• Driving 40 miles in snow at a snails pace, just to get my wife to her dad.
• The outpouring of friends and family at a time that when we needed them the most.

6 years later and the pain is still there. 6 years later and even though it hurts less than last year, it still hurts. It hurts knowing that she’ll never see my boys, play with them, and love them. It hurt like hell yesterday hearing Baby A call my father in law’s girlfriend Grandma for the first time. He doesn’t know and understand, he just knows that there should be a Grandma if there is a Grandpa.

Today, I remember the laughs, the smiles, the hugs. I remember the long talks about life and future plans and what our family will do and where we will go. I remember that I could always try out a new joke and would immediately know if it was a hit or not by how far she would spit the drink in your mouth. I remember her looking down at your watch as we walked into church late. I will remember that last lunch, how I wish we had spent more time with her that day.

6 years really seems like a long time.

I love and miss you Moms. I know that you are watching down on us and I know that you are smiling down at your grandsons. Oh how you would have loved spoiling them.