If you have never heard the song “Cat’s In The Cradle” by Harry Chapin, please take a minute to watch this video, but today I realized that my oldest is just like me. It didn’t scare me, in fact, it made me both proud and also sad all at the same time.

Watching my son’s interact in the store today and seeing my oldest, by 90 seconds, help and guide and teach his younger brother, I realized that my oldest is taking on responsibilities that I wish that he didn’t have to at this age. Next week, my wife has her 9 month check up for her brain tumor to see if it has returned and we are beyond nervous.

There have been a lot of hard and scary discussions that have been had by our family. And my wife and I have decided to both be open and sometimes brutally honest with our kids, but at the same time, shield them from some truths. The fact is, she will die. The unknown, is how long will she live?

And after my realization this morning, I took my son for a walk. I shared with him how much I see of myself in him and I give him a chance to just talk. Talk about what he is feeling. Talk about the pressures of playing travel baseball and not wanting to let myself or his coach down. Ouch! I felt the same way. But I needed him to say it.

We talked about his mom’s scan next week and he talked about how scared he was. He talked about not wanting to grow up without a mom. And I shared how my parents argued a lot and I did not want to grow up without a parent living in the house. Not the same, but a relatable moment of feeling scared. And more importantly, I shared for the first time, some of the struggles and feelings that I felt and had to go through when I was his age.

And as we finished up our one mile walk, I put my arm around him and told him how proud I was of him. I think that we both held back the tears at that moment. But the reality is, I am proud of him.

He is living through for almost 2 years, a global pandemic. He is back in school and wearing a mask. Playing against kids older and bigger and faster than he is and starting and playing well. Trying to help his brother, who sometimes struggles and yet he takes on the role of his protector. Oh right, he has a mom with a Grade 3 brain tumor with not many years to live.

Wait, my son is facing more than I did when I was his age.

My son is my hero.

That doesn’t mean that I’m not proud of my other son, I am. He has faced head on ADHD and has tried his best to work through his challenges. But this is not a comparison. This is just facts.

After our walk, I remembered this song and the line “my boy is just like me.” And he is. But, the outcome of our story will be different. The relationship that I have with my sons, is unbreakable. We are best friends. We can not wait to tell the other, about our day.

I strive every day, to be a better father/man/husband/brother, etc so that my boys will one day, be just like me.