I am not ready for this. My boys are growing up right in front of my eyes.

I feel like it was yesterday that they were being handed to me for the first time. That I was putting diapers on them for the first time. That I was feeding them. That I was bathing them oh so very gently.

Now, my boys start kindergarten next week. They will ride the bus. I’m going to let a stranger drive my sons. I am not ready for this.

I am not ready to see my little boys grow up. Heck, one of the boys kissed a girl on the forehead last night, because she is his “girlfriend”. Time is flying before my eyes. They are able to help me cook and are much further along than I was at the age of 30. They know how to make bread, grill, smoke bacon and the list goes on and on. But come next week, our lives transition again.

And as much as I try to tell myself that I’m ready for this, I am not!

My little boys are growing up. They are learning and absorbing every day. They are taking everything in and come next week, they start school and I am just not ready for this. It isn’t the same for them as it was when I started school. When I was in Kindergarten, we had tornado drills and bomb drills (yes I am old), but they will have to deal with active shooter drills. They will be faced with so many more things than I ever was.

And after we took the boys to look at their rooms last night and meet their teachers, I just realized that I am not ready for this. I am not ready to let them out of a safe bubble. But the reality is that I have to let go, to a point. They are growing up. They are becoming big boys. They are growing up.

I guess I have to be ok with this?