At 3:00 a.m. I woke up out of a not so deep sleep and prayed. And prayed like I had not done in a really long time.

I prayed and asked God to help me be a better person, father, husband and friend. This has been a struggle for me lately. I have conflicted with what I wanted to do with my career. I have just plan and simple struggled lately.

As I grow older and as I continue to evolve as a person, some days, are just easier to manage than others. I try to do right by my family, but sometimes, I fail. Last night, was a failure.

I am not proud of my behavior last night as it consisted of a lot of alcohol. And then I was mean to my wife and did not have a lot of patience with the kids. And I have no one to blame but myself. I was a jerk and that is saying a lot because I HATE that word.

So, as I was laying on the sofa because one of the boys got in our bed and our room was hot. And as I was thinking through the hours prior and felt beyond embarrassed and more importantly, disappointed in myself, I prayed.

At that moment, it was all that I could do, at that moment. Once my wife was up, I apologized and we talked. And I apologized more. She forgave me, but what came from that talk with a deeper understanding of changes that I want to make in my life.

I hate that I was not myself last night and allowed alcohol to alter my ability to be in control. But, I am also grateful that as I prayed this morning, there was a peace that came over me as well. I regret last night, more than words, but I hope that my actions, lead to making me a better person.

As I read the Serenity Prayer this morning, this 1 bible verse hit me and the interesting thing, several friends on Facebook posted the same verse today too as their status.

“Be still and know that I am God!” – Psalms 46:10