School

The word that I used with my mom tonight when she asked how I was doing, was simply “defeated”. We got another call from Boy B’s teacher, it wasn’t as bad as last weeks, but it still wasn’t great.

This time, he was great in the class room, but not in his special classes, i.e. PE and Media Center. And though she said that he was great in his class, he didn’t make good choices. And I think that when my wife mentioned that the teacher suggested that we contact his Dr. (i.e. subtle for possible need for medication), I hit a low point for the day.

I don’t want my kids to be on medicine for behavior concerns at this age. I have too many resources, but this is part of raising twin boys. The perfect storm of being born early, boys and twins and the 2nd child. And as I took a deep breath and muddled the words “I feel defeated”, my mother, who never raises her voice came down on me like a ton of bricks. She said that I needed to hear. She got on me for the right reason. She got on me because I wasn’t focusing on the right things.

We talked through Boy B’s day. What was different than yesterday and the day before. We talked through his sleep pattern, his eating, etc. And then we figured out that the day was different. There was not a lot of transition time. He didn’t enough breakfast. His schedule was off this morning due to it being a Wednesday and the class schedule changed, etc. it all became the perfect storm.

So as I drove home from work, after a really long day, a few things came to mind.

  1. I’m beyond fortunate that my mom has a background in teaching and that she can help me with these types of issues.
  2. When I call and say that I’m defeated, that she knows exactly what I need to hear and builds me up, instead of letting me tear myself down.
  3. And she gave me the same loving advice, that I hope that I can pass along to my boys one day.

So that feeling of being defeated, some how changed into, how can we make tomorrow better. And I hope that tomorrow will be better and that he make’s better choices.

Read more

The first day of school came and went, mostly without any issues. I say mostly, but it wouldn’t be fun without some problem.

On the night before the boys first day of school, we packed their lunches, got all of their clothes out, read some books and talked about riding the bus and going to school. All good. And it didn’t hurt that they were both exhausted too.

And now that we are 3 weeks into school, I can honestly say that for the most part, the boys have really transitioned nicely into kindergarten. They have taken a great interest into reading and wanting to learn how to read. They are more engaged in learning new things and they have shown an excitement in doing their best at school and even have asked to do chores around the house.

Because my mother taught elementary school for over 4o years, it is easy and also hard for me to watch them goto school.  The days have changed and the expectations have changed. When I grew up, kindergarten was meant to be a transition from preschool and a bridge for 1st grade, but today, that is all changed. Today, kindergarten is what I experienced as 1st grade. And that is really sad in many regards, especially when I see that they only get 15 minutes a day to have recess. And if you ask any teacher, they will tell you that 15 minutes a day of recess isn’t enough and that children, especially little boys, learn better by doing.

All in all, the boys really seem to have transitioned really nicely into a new phase of their life.

Read more

I am not ready for this. My boys are growing up right in front of my eyes.

I feel like it was yesterday that they were being handed to me for the first time. That I was putting diapers on them for the first time. That I was feeding them. That I was bathing them oh so very gently.

Now, my boys start kindergarten next week. They will ride the bus. I’m going to let a stranger drive my sons. I am not ready for this.

I am not ready to see my little boys grow up. Heck, one of the boys kissed a girl on the forehead last night, because she is his “girlfriend”. Time is flying before my eyes. They are able to help me cook and are much further along than I was at the age of 30. They know how to make bread, grill, smoke bacon and the list goes on and on. But come next week, our lives transition again.

And as much as I try to tell myself that I’m ready for this, I am not!

My little boys are growing up. They are learning and absorbing every day. They are taking everything in and come next week, they start school and I am just not ready for this. It isn’t the same for them as it was when I started school. When I was in Kindergarten, we had tornado drills and bomb drills (yes I am old), but they will have to deal with active shooter drills. They will be faced with so many more things than I ever was.

And after we took the boys to look at their rooms last night and meet their teachers, I just realized that I am not ready for this. I am not ready to let them out of a safe bubble. But the reality is that I have to let go, to a point. They are growing up. They are becoming big boys. They are growing up.

I guess I have to be ok with this?

Read more

Pre-K Graduation has come and gone and with that change, so comes a new daycare. One that is closer to the house and one that is within walking distance.

Leaving the old daycare was bitter sweet, as the boys really grew and learned a lot and really prepared them for Kindergarten. But with that, it was still another transition and change.

Today, the boys walked to their new daycare with my wife, excited and nervous, but walked in and immediately started playing. They transitioned a lot easier that we have, that is for sure. But as with this milestone passing, we prepare for the next. And as their first graduation has come and gone, we prepare for future events like this.

Read more

For whatever reason, the last few weeks have been a little bit of a challenge with the boys behavior and thus, we’ve had to look at different forms of punishment for them. And I really believe that outside of seeing your child hurting, punishing them is one of the hardest jobs for parents.

Ever since we had to move the boys to the daycare center, both boys have started to act out more. More talking back. More pushing. More acting out when they don’t get their way. Sure, these are all normal actions with growing up and testing boundaries, but that doesn’t mean that as parents, we can’t address and correct these behaviors before they turn into bigger problems.

Some of the punishment thus far that has been handed out is:

  • No TV
  • No tablets
  • Exercising and trying to burn off some energy
  • Writing an apology (this also works on their writing skills too)
  • Taking toys away and that seems to have had the biggest response thus far.

I have noticed that taking things away from the boys, as opposed to just spanking them, seems to be working well. I have always wanted to try and stir clear of spanking whenever possible, as I think that it sends a mixed message, because spanking and hitting are one in the same.

Misbehavior is something that has to be addressed quickly or it will get out of hand. I know that a lot of our kids acting out is directly related to behavior that they are learning from other kids at daycare and also some of the tv shows that they have recently seen. That being said, TV is something that I can and do control. Behavior of other kids at daycare becomes a little tricky. Regardless though, the earlier that we can identify and address these things, the better and often times, punishment is the easiest form to correct these things.

Read more

Week 1 is now officially over at the new daycare and the boys absolutely love it. They have done awesome there and it has definitely been a change, but a positive one.

We have definitely started a solid routine with the boys and one that will only continue to prepare them for kindergarten next year. Each morning now, we wake them up a little earlier and get them feed breakfast and double check their lunches to make sure that they are still good with their food. And we get them out the door now, most days by 7:30 – 8:00 am. ( Our old daycare provided breakfast and lunch, so our mornings were a little less structured and in some regards, easier.)

Now, we get the boys to help pick and pack their lunches and help us out each day. So, week 1 is over and we have survived and the boys have had a blast.

Read more

Today marked a new day in the life of not only my boys, but mine as a father.  Today, the boys started a new daycare. And for those that missed out on that story, you can read part of it here, as since the majority of that story is personal and private for the daycare provider.

But over the weekend, we took the boys to get a lunch box and last night we got them to help us pack their lunch for today and they were beyond excited. I really think that just simple as simple as letting them help pack their lunch, made a HUGE difference in the transition of the new daycare/pre-K school. And then this morning, both boys were up early, they dressed themselves and were ready to leave, well before I had my first cup of coffee and the entire time, I kept wondering if the shoe was going to drop and one or both were going to freak out.

Around 8am this morning, we made the 3 mile drive, went in and got them checked in, talked with their teacher and the boys actually hugged us and told us to leave. I was tearing up and they are kicking us out the door. A new day in the lives of our boys. Today they walked into a new daycare/school for the first time and immediately started making new friends. My whole day, I’ve been on pins and needles waiting to hear how the day went.

A new day is coming to an end and another first is behind us. This new daycare is really going to prepare the boys for kindergarten, help them learn how to write and both boys are starting to show a interest in learning how to read. Our last daycare was an in home and we all loved the that environment and the lady that took care of our sons and we are very grateful for the time that we had with her. We are also very sad that she was shut down and especially for the reasons that it lead up to it. But we are also hopeful that this new daycare will prepare the boys and give them a head start to their next year in school.

Today, was a new day.

Read more

I knew that it would happen, just didn’t know when. But more importantly, I was wrong in who the conference would be for.

My wife and I have always said that Baby A would be in trouble for talking too much in class. But, how wrong I was. We had a parent teacher conference last night for Baby B and things that the teachers have observed thus far in the 2nd half of his preschool year.   All in all, it was not a shock, but somethings that were said almost brought me to tears. Not because he is doing anything wrong, but because he has needed extra attention from the teachers.

I try to remind myself over and over again, they are two separate kids and last night, I did the same thing to the teachers.  They are twins. They were born early. They are boys. All things that lead to developmental issues/challenges. And as we deal with this one, which is just really starting to set and define more structure for Baby B, I know that he will be just fine. As with his speech, it just took a little help and time to get him where he needed to be.

So, 1 parent teacher conference down, I’m sure there will be more in the future.

 

 

Read more