Life

I took the boys out Saturday to lunch and was amazed by the number of people that stopped by and spoke to the boys. And the funny thing, is that most of the parents complimented me on how well behaved that the boys were. I guess because I am with them all the time, I do not think anything of it.

The hardest part for me when we go out to eat, is how messy that they can be sometimes. I have to remember that they are only 1, but still. They drop puffs on the floor. They drop really whatever we give them to eat on the floor to be honest. But all in all, they are good eaters are not as messy as I have seen some. But the one thing that I always do, is I always try to ask our wait staff for a broom so that I can clean up after them. It is not the wait staffs problem that the boys drop their food.  Now, in saying that, I have yet to be handed a broom, but I really think that the wait staff just appreciates the offer.

I think that the earlier that you can get your kids into a routine in a restaurant, the better that you’ll all be down the road. And the reality of it, is that a 1 year old, will be messy. That is just part of life. But you can also start by setting a good example by offering to clean up too, so that your children can follow suit in the future.

 

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Tonight, as I watch my boys run around the living room and laugh, my thoughts are filled with the shootings that took place in Colorado tow nights ago at the Batman premiere.

The shootings were yet another case of senselless violence. And yes, there will be plenty of time to debate gun control in the future. But tonight, let’s take a moment and hold your kids and loved ones a little tighter and give them an extra kiss.  Treasure these moments and be grateful for the time that you have together.  And tonight, say a prayer, not only for the souls that were taken away from this world way too early, but for their families that are left behind. As they will never for the events from that night. And their lives have forever been changed.

 

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It is funny, with having two boys, I have noticed that they do things at different times. One started walking first and then the other started talking. Well, that has flipped. Baby B, which walked first, is still walking, but now talking more. And Baby A, who talked first, is just now starting to really walk.

The boys are different, they are their own individual personality.  And to continue their differences, Baby A has just started to give me a hug when he sees me. And he really loves to hug me when we are rocking at night. There is just something amazing about when they wrap their arms around you. I could be having the worse day and I could get a hug from the boys and my day has turned around completely.

Unconditional love is an amazing thing.

 

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Today, I found out that a close friend’s 12 year old son has cancer.  Though it doesn’t appear that the cancer has spread, but it is in his jawbone and needs to be treated.  I am close to their family and hearing the Cancer word just threw me. My wife and I have gone through a few firsts this past year with friends:

  • A close couple split up and will be filling for divorce
  • My wife’s best friend was diagnosed and is undergoing treatment for Breast Cancer
  • And now this friend’s son has cancer

It sucks. Plain and simple. But it also makes you realize how precious life is and how important each and everyday is. Do not take today for granted. We are not promised tomorrow.

Love your friends and family. Kiss your kids every chance that you get and make sure that you over use the word I Love You.

Today, I say a special prayer for my friends and my little buddy Baylor, knowing that he has a long road ahead, but if any kid can fight through life’s challenges, it is him.

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Growing up in a small town, larger than Mayberry, but not by much, I was deeply saddened to hear about the passing of Andy Griffith. You see, I am from North Carolina and was one of the millions that learned life lessons from Sheriff Andy Taylor. I grew up in a small town, where you said hello to people that you walked past, said yes sir and no ma’am, and you were taught to respect others.

As an adult, I now live in a much larger town than Mayberry. And kids today are told not to speak to others as they walk by, and that it is exceptable to say yeah, instead of yes sir and that respect, well, what is that?  Maybe it was because the town that I grew up in, like Mayberry, was a small town of about 10,000 people? Regardless, the times have changed and maybe not for the better?

Those were and are valuable life lessons that I learned as a child and that have stayed with me today and these are the things that I plan on teaching my boys as well. Even though it has only been a few days after the passing of Andy Griffith, I miss him for the same reason that I miss a friend, because he was always there. He was always on tv, teaching Opie valuable life lessons with a gentle and soft voice. I miss Andy already, for the same reasons that I miss the days of Mayberry.

 

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I was recently asked by a friend in the development world, if I wanted to do some freelance work. And I politely smiled and declined. And he couldn’t understand. He kept asking and trying to remind me how much I could make on the side doing freelance development at night. And he was right, the project that we were discussing would have been about $5,000 – $10,000 in additional income for my family.

But, it would have also meant, working about 100 – 150 hours at night, weekends, etc. and what does that really translate into? A lot of time without my boys. As much as the additional money would have been nice and come in handy, I love coming home at night and playing with the boys. I love being able to help give them baths at night, and read to them and just be with them. If I were to do freelance projects, I would not be able to do that. I would be working all day at my full time job, then coming in, kissing the boys and then start working. And honestly, it just isn’t worth it.

Maybe when the boys get older and we have more free time, I will looking into doing more freelance work, but today, I want to play with my boys.

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Country LivingMy wife’s god parents have a home out in the country. This past weekend we packed up and took the kids out of the city and into the country for some fresh air.

Having grown up with grandparents that lived on a farm out in the country, I am quickly taken back to my childhood. The boys on this trip were able to not only play with the dogs there, but also got to see their first horse. It was great to see how excited that they got when the animals came over.

My wife’s godparents also kept the boys for a few hours so that my wife and I could go and have a quiet lunch together. And that quiet lunch turned into lunch, then 2 winery tours and then back to the restaurant for dessert. My wife and I were able to spend some quality time together and the boys were able to get out to the country for some much needed family time.

The trip was so great, that we are scheduling our next trip the country this week. It is important to plan trips ahead so that it gives you something to look forward to.

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CrossWhen I was in Texas, the small group that I was a part of that meet every Sunday morning would start each class with a simple question: “Seen God this week?” And it was a simple question, but one that was really powerful for me.  It really made me more aware of what was going on during the week, to stop and look around for how God was working not only in my life but others. And when I started really focusing on this, I saw things differently.

Years later, I move to the east coast. I still attend church, just not as involved as I was out in Texas. This is for my reasons, but it dawned on my a few weeks ago how much I missed answering that question every week. So it got me thinking, have I seen God this week? And it was a simple yes! I saw him when I woke up this morning and got to see my sons smiling at me. I will see him again tonight when I go home from work and my boys start jumping up and down waiting for me to play with them.

And every night, before I go to sleep, I thank God for having another day with my little boys and hope that he gives me tomorrow with them as well.  But now that I am more aware of this need/desire, it has renewed my energy about God. I might not be involved with my current church as I was with the church in Texas and that is for many reasons, but I will be reading the bible more. I just purchased two books by Adam Hamilton “24 Hours That Changed The World” & “Final Words at the Cross ” and hope to start reading them this weekend. I hope that these book continue to help me seek a deeper relationship with God, which will ultimately make me a better father.

So, as you go about your week and daily activities, stop and ask yourself if you have seen God this week?

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Memorial Day is a day that we stop, reflect and thank those in the military and former military for their service to the United States. For me, this is a special day, as there is a long line of military history that runs in my family. My father and grandfather both served in the United States Army, my other grandfather was in the United States Navy. I also had others that served, my uncle, great uncle,  cousins and several friends all served in different branches of our armed forces.  They all made a choice to serve and in doing so, they protect and defend us and our freedoms and for that, I am grateful.

So this Memorial Day, while you are enjoying your time at a BBQ or a baseball park or just spending time with friends and family, take a moment to thank anyone that you know that served.

And if you get a chance, take your family to Arlington National Cemetery in Arlington, VA. It is a trip that my wife and I plan on take our sons, not only for the history and to see the grave of their great great grandfather, but also to see the changing of the guard, watch a video here.

Arlington

Arlington National Cemetery

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I have come to the conclusion over the last several weeks, that these two boys are going to teach me a lot about life and give me a lot of perspective on how I view the world. I truly believe that we are given teachable moments on a regular basis, it is just how we view those moments and what we learn from them that can change our view on life. Last night one of the boys could not settle down and go to sleep and he and I ended up sleeping in the recliner. I started thinking back over the year and how nights when I would get frustrated because it would take them 4 hours to get settled down to sleep, but when they would wake up the next morning, they would smile and were so happy to see me. Forgiveness.

Or maybe a lack of remembering, but let’s go with forgiveness, because that is how I like to look at it. Kids, yes they get their feelings hurt when they don’t get their way, but they do not hold onto things as long as adults do. Maybe it is an attention span issue? Maybe they are just able to accept things and move on faster. But regardless, as my son had his little arm wrapped around me and with his other hand holding onto mine, I just smiled, because I know that I am sure that I’ve done something to hurt his little feelings, but he shows me his forgiveness by loving me.

Adults could really learn a lot from children about forgiveness and moving on.

 

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