Happy Anniversary to my wife of 4 years. We have been through a lot, probably more than most in a lifetime together, but we have come out stronger and better people.
But today, is a day that we will never forget. It is a day that brings happiness and sorrow, but today, is a day that marks 4 years of life together as a married couple. I love you.
Each day, we learn something new. A new route to take to work. A computer shortcut that makes our job more productive. A new parenting technique, that will probably not work tomorrow.
But, here are some of the things that I’ve learned thus far of being a dad.
1) I am not my father.
2) I am not perfect, but my boys still love me just the same.
3) That during the day, I often wonder what they are doing when I am at work.
4) That they have really learned a lot thus far, walking, talking, eating, wanting to be more independent, etc.
5) That I do not know if I will ever be satisfied in what I am able to provide financially for the boys and my family in general?
6) And probably the most important thing that I can do, is love my boys unconditionally.
I realize that this is only a small list of things that I’ve learned over the last year, but I have a lifetime to learn and more importantly, learn from my mistakes.
My wife had attended the same church for almost 30 years, minus the years that she was away at college. And when we started dating, we went to the same church that she grew up in. But for the last 2 years, I had been struggling. I needed more. I wanted more. You see, when I lived in Texas, I went to an amazing church. I went to a church that I was a big part of and wanted to do even more. I was there all the time. But the church that my wife and I had been attending, I just could not get that attached to. And I don’t know why?
But something happened 2 weeks ago. My wife looked at me and said, I think that I am ready for us to look at a going to a new church. Man, I was floored, excited, relieved, and a little nervous. I wasn’t sure if my wife was just saying this or if she really wanted more? Would there be a falling out if we went to a new church?
Well, we went to a new church yesterday. Still a United Methodist church, which we both wanted. But a new church none the less. We walked in, we were greeted immediately. We walked the boys down to the nursery and they walk in and start playing. The service was good. We figured that since we were trying something new, why not try the contemporary service, which was really more of a blend of the traditional and contemporary services, the biggest difference being that they had a praise and worship band. After church, the day kind of got away from us and after we put the boys down and my wife and I were eating dinner, she asked what I thought about the service that we went to? And we just talked.
We talked about not only the church and how we felt, but why it took my wife so long to get to the point of being ready to look at going to a new church. We lead into more of a conversation about how important the church is to both of us and yet, how we had allowed other things to prevent us from going over the last year. I think that our lives are getting ready to really shift and take on a new meaning and dynamics. And it started with the new church.
I am 36.
I am a husband, a father, a son.
I am a misplaced Texan living on the east coast.
I am a sports fanatic.
I am a Yankees fan.
I am a UNC fan.
I am a political junkie.
I am a republican.
I am a Christian.
I am happy.
I am loving every minute of life.
I am the father to two amazing boys.
I am blessed beyond belief.
Today is all to familiar reminder of Hurricane Katrina. As I watch the news about Hurricane Isaac, I am reminded of living in Houston and preparing to drive to New Orleans, not realizing that a hurricane was heading straight for the city. It was a rare week, because I had not watched the news and seen what one of the greatest cities in the US was heading for. But today, as I sit on the east coast, I am reminded of meeting people that had been evacuated and transported to where I lived in Houston and as they shared what they had seen, their possessions that they had lost, but how grateful that they were that they had made it out alive with their families.
You see, faith, it is an amazing thing. A person’s faith can define them forever. It can change the way that they view the world. And it can change the way that they view others. Those families that I met, had a lot of faith and I am sure that today, as many of them had return to the city of New Orleans, their faith is being tested by Hurricane Isaac. According to Answers.com, the word faith, is used 365 times in the bible, is it any wonder?
So today, as Hurricane Isaac is heading towards the great people of New Orleans, my prayer is simple, I pray today that those that are in harms way, are safe and protected. And that those families that have damage to their homes and to their belongs, that they have faith and hope, so that they can rebuild and grow stronger.
This… is a simple game. You throw the ball. You hit the ball. You catch the ball.
I don’t know what it is about the movie Bull Durham, but for whatever reason, the writers explained the game in such a way, that it makes sense. Playing baseball as a kid, I had the chance to be coached by some men that had played in the minors, worked out with guys that made it to the majors and talk with men that are now in the Hall of Fame about how to improve. But at the end of the day, baseball is really a simple game.
Baseball is a metaphor for life for me. Some days, you can hit everything that is thrown at you. Other days, you can not hit a beach ball if it was lobbed right over the plate and then there are other days, you just want a rain out. Today is one of those days. Today is a day that I would love a rain out. A day to sit in the club house, laugh with the kids, roll the ball on the floor and just be kids. Nothing really bad has happened today, but neither has anything great. But I was reminded a few minutes ago, that we should be happy for today and the chances that we get today.
Every little boy in America that has ever picked up a baseball has dreamed about one day, stepping into the batters box at Yankee Stadium. Facing down a veteran pitcher and taking their fastball over the left field bleachers. Why? Because we are guys. But more importantly, because is a simple game. It does require some knowledge, but thinking ahead of players and where they hit the ball and being in the best position to get them out. Which is a lot like being a parent. Think about it, you have to be thinking 3 moves ahead of your kids. Are they getting ready to pull down a pot off the stove? Are they going to tackle their brother? Where are they going to school? Can we start saving for their college now?
At the end of the day, baseball really is a simple game. And baseball really is like life. Baseball has a team, your family is your team. There is a manager of the team and at home, the parents run the house. So in some strange ways, life is really like baseball.
I know that I have sometime before I have sit down with the boys and begin explaining death, but I know that some day, it will happen. I do not remember when my parents sat me down to explain it to me, but I would have to guess that it was when I was in the 2nd grade and the day that my grandfather died. I remember a lot about that day. Standing in the hall way, talking with the school principal, waiting for my mother to collect her things at school so that we could leave. And I remember my father being at school as well, which was strange because my mother was a teacher and she brought me to school every day.
Over the last 5 years, my wife and I have both lost several close people in our lives, grandparents, friends, cousins, and my wife’s mother. I know that as the boys grow older, they will have questions. Questions about who people where and more importantly, why they aren’t here now and if they are like me, they will ask the really hard question, where are they if they aren’t here?
On a trip before the boys were born, I started to bring this topic up with my wife and how we wanted to explain death to the boys and she reminded me of her educational background and a book that she had read when she was in grad school called The Fall of Freddie the Leaf: A Story Of Life For All Ages. She read me this book a few weeks later and even though it made sense, I still cringed at the thought of explaining death to the boys. But there are a few things that I hope that I am able to explain and share with the boys:
I know that when the boys get older, they will have questions about their grandmother, or their great grandparents and I just hope that I can explain to them what great people that they were and that one day, they will get to see and meet those that have gone before them in Heaven.
I was rocking my son tonight and when he looked up and smiled at me, it hit me, I started hearing Edwin McCain‘s song “I Could Not Ask For More.”
These are the moments I’ll remember all my life
I found all I’ve waited for
And I could not ask for more
When rocking him to sleep, he looks up at me before he closed his eyes and smiled. I know that I will not be able to hold him for the rest of his life, but I am treasuring these moments and I don’t want them to end. I see how my sons are growing, learning new things, figuring things out on their own and just basically, growing up.
I want to cherish these moments and to enjoy them all. Enjoy Edwin’s video:
Adversity is defined by Webster as:
Definition of ADVERSITY
: a state, condition, or instance of serious or continued difficulty or adverse fortune
Sometimes in life, things happen. Sometimes for the good, sometimes for the bad. But the question is, how do you handle it? Do you lose your cool? Do you do a dance and rejoice?
I am realizing more and more, that even though my sons are still very young, I can start now teaching them how to handle adversity. Instead of losing my cool, take a step back and reevaluate the situation. Now, I realize that we are talking about babies that are not even 15 months old yet. But, I can talk with them when they get upset. I can start now trying to verbally calm them and divert their attention and focus, in hopes, that when life throws them a curve ball one day, that they can handle it and over come the situation.
Adversity.
Being sick is hard enough as an adult, but I think that being sick as a parent is even harder. It is not just, take care of yourself, rest and feel batter. no, it is all of those things, and take care of your kids.
Well, tonight, my wife is sick, probably with a cold. So, I get to be super dad. I am taking care of the kids, got them ready for bed and then took care of my wife. It definitely makes for a long night. The kids are down, I have a cold Flying Dog Pale Ale and just threw in the classic movie Swingers.
So tonight, as I settle down for the evening, I hope that the boys sleep well, that my wife feels better and that the sofa isn’t too uncomfortable.