Life

Thirteen years ago today, America stood in silence. Our country forever changed, families forever changed, people were forever changed.

Today, as we stand in silence at 8:46 am, which was when the first plane hit the World Trade Center Towers, we remember. At 9:03, the second plane hit the World Trade Center Tower, we remember. At 9:37 a plane hits the Pentagon, we remember. And at 10:03 the final plane landed in a field in PA and we remember.

To those that lost their lives that day, we remember. To the families that were left behind, we remember. It has been thirteen years since America stood in silence and it is a day that will be etched in everyone’s memories.

God Bless America and God Bless those that were lost that day.

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Doing what is right, is not always easy, but sometimes it can be life changing.  And that is exactly what happened with the Cincinnati Bengals Defensive tackle Devon Still.

I love sports. I LOVE sports. I could watch football or basketball all day. Don’t get me wrong though, even though I love sports, it is a business. Teams have budgets, (minus the NY Yankees) that have to be kept, but they have responsibilities to their fans, their vendors, their players, their employees, etc. but sometimes, teams get it right. Sometimes, the business side of sports gets puts to the side and a team does what is right to help a player.

Devon Still’s daughter was diagnosed with Stage 4 pediatric cancer in June and even though Devon was in camp and trying to earn a spot on the team, he was cut. But, instead of cutting Devon completely from the team, the Cincinnati Bengals signed Devon to their practice squad, which allowed him to still be paid, still have insurance for his daughter and most importantly, since she was being treated in Cincinnati, he gets to stay close to his daughter. Could the Bengals have cut Devon and said that he was taking a valuable spot on their team, sure. I am sure that if they had, everyone would have said, it was business.

Instead, they are doing what is right. They have taken care of a player who is going through a lot in his life right now. He is trying to work and provide for his family, while at the same time, he has to be worried to death about his daughter. Today, the Cincinnati Bengals have been caught doing what is right. They put the needs of a person, above the business.

Take a moment to watch this video: https://gma.yahoo.com/cincinnati-bengals-sign-devon-still-help-pay-daughters-145953313.html?vp=1

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This past week has been a challenge as we have been having a lot of bed time struggles with Baby A.  Our night time routine has been completely throwing off and I’m not really sure as to why?

We have kept the same routine, dinner, bath, watch a quick YouTube video, read a story, rock and quiet time. But the last weeks, he has wanted to go downstairs for toys, he has needed us to lay down beside him until he goes to sleep, he has thrown a fit, he has screamed, well you get the idea.

Bed time struggles seem to be a common issue at this age, so that isn’t that big of a deal. And it could be growth spurts, changes with the boys routine and as we prepare to transition to a new daycare facility. But, the last few weeks have definitely been a challenge at night time, often times taking an hour and a half to two hours.   And there has been an increase in night terrors as well, which has been on average 1 to 2 per week for Baby A.

And as usual, Baby B just puts himself to bed and is usually asleep within a few minutes. Bless that child. This is just yet another challenge in the life of twin boys, bed time struggles.

 

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I remember when I was a kid, I loved Saturday morning. I would wake up early and run downstairs, fix breakfast and watch cartoons.

Now, Saturday morning is a little different except, now the boys are picking cartoons. I am still waking up early, now my breakfast is coffee and fruit and the boys are right by my side. We sit on the sofa and laugh and watch cartoons. This is my Saturday morning now.

And I love every minute of it and we are currently watching Wreck It Ralph.

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It is all fun and games until someone takes a poop on the floor. Yep, that happened today.

We’ve been working on potty training big time and the boys, I have to say, have done a pretty good job. A few accidents, but they have been really minor. Today, Baby A said that he had to go upstairs to poop. Great, off we went. Get upstairs and within a minute, he is pooping. High fives and we are off back downstairs. Literally two minutes later, he is standing on the rug, clinching his little butt cheeks. I ask him what is wrong and he starts to get ready to cry.  It is then when I realize, he has to poop again. Off we go, but not before I look down and realize that there is poop on the floor.

When we were sitting upstairs, Baby A is obviously upset. He kept saying that he was sad.  We talked. I explained that he has to tell us when he needs to poop and that he has to control it, but that sometimes it is hard to control when you have to poop and that you have to just go with it. That was when he smiled.

He smiled because I was not mad with him. How could I be? He pooped, he didn’t break the tv. He made a mistake. But what I hope that he realizes, as his brother, as they go through life, my job is teach them right from wrong, good from bad. My job is teach them and show them how to and how not to react to situations. I hope that they realize that sometimes, it is ok to poop on the floor.

 

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Change happens daily. It it just a basic part of life. Sometimes, change can be good. And sometimes, it rains.

Last night, I had to make a difficult decision and inform our nanny that we were changing to a different daycare provider.   Our nanny has been there and taken care of our children from day 1. She has been a part of our family and our lives, but my wife and I made the decision that the boys needed something different as they prepare for school.

Change can be used in so many forms, as a verb or a noun, but at the end of the day, no matter how you use the word, it still can be difficult.

 

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Tonight was a tough night. It seemed like literally within 5 minutes, if it could have gone wrong, it did.

  • The gate(s) that we have in the house for the boys, both broke.
  • The boys were not listening very well tonight.
  • I got a letter from the state showing my wife’s license plate where she was speeding in a work zone. More money down the drain.
  • The nanny made a few comments that I wasn’t very pleased with.
  • The boys would not sit still to eat dinner, instead they wanted to run and play.
  • The boys did not want to pick up their toys, so I have to do that now.
  • Baby B decided to pee on the floor and not in the toilet.

Tonight, was a tough night. I got hit with a lot within a very short amount of time and that is after a very long day. I got the boys fed, upstairs, quiet, relaxed and in bed within less than 30 minutes. I poured a beer, heated a pork roast that I made yesterday in the crock pot and some red potatoes that I made and did I mention that I poured a much needed beer?

But tonight, even though it was a tough night, in 1 quick act of kindness from my son that made all of the things today, seem non existent. Baby B laid down beside me on the floor, which is not uncommon for him, as I held his brother’s hand, he simply whispered “kiss” and then gave me a kiss and then gave me an Eskimo kiss. And then he fell asleep. Just like that, today, tonight, the things that frustrated me, they all went away.

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Ferguson, Missouri have you ever heard of it? Neither had most until last week. That is until Michael Brown was shot and killed by a police officer.

Those are the facts as I have read them that are undisputed. I say that, because everything after that is in question. Here is another fact, there are only a few people that in fact know the truth, the police officer and Michael Brown. Pretty much everything else is hearsay and speculator.

Since the news broke about the shooting, a lot of things have happened:

  • Outside organizations have gotten involved to voice their concern and also in my opinion push their agenda.
  • There have been riots and destruction to private property.
  • The police department has released the name of the office.
  • The Governor has objected to the Police Department releasing video of an alleged robbery. (I say alleged because again, the facts have not come out in the case.)
  • The Police Department looks more like a military tactical unit, though probably without the military training.

Here are the problems as I see it:

  • Too many outside organizations with their own agendas have gotten involved.
  • There have been riots and destruction and have all but said that the police officer was guilty, without a trial.
  • The Governor interjected into a city level case, even though the FBI has gotten involved.
  • The Police Department went militarized into the streets.
  • The media in several cases has all but ruled that the police officer was guilty, again without a trial.
  • Social Media  has run ramped with accusations, photos, sound bites, etc.

At the end of the day, I know this much to be true. A young man is dead and for that, I am sorry that his parents have to go through burring their child. I also know that a police officer, who has a family, is dealing with the fact that he shot and killed someone. And at the end of the day, it isn’t our place to decide what happened. We have a court of law that does that. But, in the last several years (Google George Zimmerman and several other cases) the media tries the individual on tv and in print and social media, before all the facts are ever heard in a court of law.

Now, I have a lot of other thoughts and feelings on this case, but I will keep those to myself, as they serve no purpose on this blog. But tonight, I pray for those in Ferguson, Missouri. I pray for the soul of Michael Brown. I pray for his family and friends that tonight are suffering and are hurt. I pray for the police officer. I pray for those that will be effected by this tragedy, i.e. potential jurors, co-workers of the police officer, etc. This will not simply go away. No matter what happens in this case, whether the officer is charged and found guilty or found innocent, it does not matter. There are no winners tonight in the town of Ferguson, Missouri.

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I don’t have many memories of one of my grandfathers, but one memory that I do have is that when I would see him, we would get in the car, just he and I and we would go and get Strawberry Ice Cream. How I can remember this, I’m not really sure, especially considering the fact that my Grandfather died when I was in 1st grade.

I remember a lot about the day that he died. I remember being pulled from class and talk with the principal. I remember my mother crying and we left school early that day. I remember asking my mom if my Grandfather was going to buy me Strawberry Ice Cream that afternoon and she just cried.

Years pass and not a lot is talked about my Grandfather. Not sure why? But last night, of all nights, my sons ate 4 chicken nuggets, 4 large strawberries and a handful of string beans. And after they finished it up, Baby A looked up and saw an ice cream cone and asked for Strawberry Ice Cream.

In that moment, I was transported back to when I was a little boy. I was taken back to when I was a kid, asking my Grandfather for Strawberry Ice Cream. But tonight, both boys, after they literally cleaned their plates, they both asked for Strawberry Ice Cream and in that second, I remembered my Grandfather. I remembered those Sundays at the Ice Cream place. I tried one other Ice Cream, I didn’t like it and he immediately asked for Strawberry Ice Cream and he quickly ordered it for me.

I could do no wrong in my Grandfather’s eyes. I was his only Grandson. And tonight, my son’s could do no wrong. We sat at the table and laughed and talked and ate Ice Cream, Strawberry Ice Cream cones, just like I did when I was their age.

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We all go through things in life, mostly good, but there are times where it isn’t so good.

Over the last several weeks, I’ve had a chance to reflect on my childhood, as I want to avoid mistakes and things that my parents made with me. And I kept coming back to one thing, “It’s Not Your Fault”.
And with the passing of Robin Williams yesterday, I was reminded of this scene. It took me back to a place a few years ago that I was talking with a friend and I mentioned how this scene resonated with me, because I took a lot of my parents problems on my shoulders.  And just like Will in the movie, it took someone caring for me and pushing me to realize that I wasn’t at fault.

Life is hard. Kids are put into situations and forced to grow up way too early in life. This scene really has hit home for me. Sorry about the language, little ones, ear muff it, but the scene is important.

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