Author's Posts

I’ve stared looking at the year in review and all in all, it has been a good year. The family is healthy, spent a lot of time with friends and family.

So here are just a few of the highlights and they are not in any particular order.

  • Both boys are doing great in school. In fact, both have been recognized for achievements in learning.
  • Boy B was diagnosed with ADHD & has been doing great with both a combination of medication and also additional services to help him learn to cope with this.
  • We celebrated the life of my Grandfather this October. My Grandfather meant the world to me and taught me so many valuable life lessons. You can read more here.
  • We were able to meet our 1st financial goal that we set for the year and that was to pay off at least 2 major credit cards. 2 done and a few more to go. But, in all honesty, that was hard because we had an increase of medical bills due to my son’s therapy. Not complaining, but just a fact. But we are on pace to hopefully be in a better place in 2018.
  • My wife was in a major car accident this summer. I will never forget the feeling of pulling up to the accident and seeing the damage to my wife’s van and feeling how blessed we were that she was still alive. Her guardian angel was definitely there for sure protecting her.
  • We added a new addition to the family! Meiko aka The Meeks aka a great little puppy.
  • I started doing DDP Yoga, which is something that I never thought that I would do or even more importantly that that, enjoy.
  • Grateful that my family in Houston were spared any damage during Hurricane Harvey.
  • Cooked a whole lot and really started to broaden my horizon with cooking and taking some serious leaps with that. I also added grill number 4 to the deck. Which gives me 4 Grills and a smoker.
  • The boys just started martial arts and love it. And Boy A is starting to play basketball at the Recreation Department.
  • Work is, well work. Nothing really good or bad to say.
  • My wife’s job has changed a bit as well, so there has been an adjustment period there for us too.
  • My two favorite teams won championships, UNC Basketball and the Houston Astros.

All in all, life is good. We had our ups and our downs in 2017 but made a lot of great memories too.

And 2018 already has some bright spots. My wife and I will be celebrating our 10th Wedding Anniversary and will be renewing our vows, with our kids there. And if all goes well, we should be able to really knock out a lot of debt in the front half of the year and being on our way to being debt free. And we already have at least 2 trips planned for the year as well, with many more to go.

So, from my family to yours, enjoy the moments and have a Safe and Happy New Year.

Read more

All is calm, all is bright, those are the words that kept coming through my head over and over again Christmas Eve. As I walked out side and looked at the luminaries that my sons and I put out in front of the house, all was calm.

There has been a lot going on lately it seems and it is things that are not outside of the norm. Work, preparing for Christmas, Family obligations, etc. But in the midst of the chaos, life has not been calm lately, far from it to be honest. I feel that I’m worn down and in a difficult place in life.

And by difficult, I mean, life. Life has been life. Let’s be honest, as parents, we deal with a lot on any given day. We have the stresses of work. We have the stresses of financial bills. We have the worry of knowing that we are putting our kids on a bus each day and trusting that someone other than us will protect them.

But in the midst of chaos of last week, I found a since of calm. I stopped all of the work issues for  a few days. I put aside all of the financial stress and worry, granted it is still there, but for last week, as we approached Christmas, life was ok.

As parents, we want to always do what is right by our kids. We put their needs first and ahead of our own. I will go with out in order to give my kids something that I did not have. I learned that lesson from my mother and though she will never told me all that she sacrificed, I know that she did. And I’m doing the same for my kids and no, I will not tell them either. Why? Because it isn’t important.

So, Christmas Eve, after attending our old church for the early service and as soon as I walked in, I was at peace. Granted, that did not last very long, as Boy B wasn’t happy that they did not have a children’s service in his old class and had to stay with us. But never the less, I enjoyed watching the service on tv in the lobby of the church. Point being, even in the chaos of that moment, I was calm.

And as we got home, we started putting candles in the bags and lining them up on the street. This was a tradition that I had when I was a kid and it was something that I LOVED doing each and ever year. And for me as a kid, it didn’t seem like Christmas until we did the luminaries.  And as we braved the cold and the wind and a few quick snow showers, we were able to light the street up in front of the house all the way to the front of our home. And then, all was bright.

All is calm, All is Bright - Christmas Luminaries

So, as I type this, the after Christmas, the calmness has subsided and chaos has returned. But I left the house this morning with two little boys laughing and playing with their new toys.

From my family to yours, I hope that you had a safe and Merry Christmas.

Read more

At dinner on Saturday night, the boys were playing games and all of a sudden I hear “Son of a B…..” shouted at the table. Not something that you expect to hear at the dinner table, especially in public at a restaurant, but there it was.

I was in second grade before I heard my first cuss word, let alone saying it out loud. And the one time that I did say it in front of my dad, let’s just say that it didn’t end well for me. But sitting there Saturday night, hearing my son say Son of a B….. for the first time, totally caught me off guard. I was speechless for about 30 seconds.

And then I was faced with two choices and he knew as soon as he said it, that he was in trouble. But Option 1, take him out side and spank him or Option 2, calmly explain that what he said was wrong. So, I went with option 2 and we talked about how little boys do not need to talk that way.

Let’s just mark this down as just another thing that I was not expecting to deal with at such an early age.  I knew that it was coming, heck my wife swears like a sailor at sea, but I have really tried my best to keep my language clean. Now that being said, the boys are still not allowed to watch the UNC vs. dook basketball game, as I save all of my bad language for those games. But it was moments like Saturday night that really made me question if sending the boys to public school was the best option?

Do not get me wrong, I have zero plans to send the boys to private school for several reasons and the most important is that I pay city and state taxes, which directly effect the school, so why would I pay more? But more importantly, I will not lie and say that home schooling the boys did not cross my mine Saturday night.

As the night went on and we talked more about appropriate language, I was taken back to sitting on my grandfather’s front porch, talking with my Dad and he spanked me. And as I talked with my son’s about their choice of words and how they responded, I realized that I made the right choice in talking with them versus spanking. Even when they Son of a B….., I just sometimes shake my head.

Read more

It is that time again, time for Thanksgiving. But wow, what a difference a year has made.

This year, we will be enjoying the traditional with a twist. Because it is just my wife and the boys and myself, instead of a traditional large turkey, we will be having 2 turkey breasts instead. 1 of the turkey breasts will be baked and then the 2nd turkey breast will be cooked with the Joule from ChefSteps.

Since the boys are still not huge fans of certain foods, I am working on a roasted potato dish with rosemary and thyme, green beans casserole and yeast roles. And for dessert, apple pie and cheesecake. This year though, the boys get to help cook, which makes the day even more exciting for me.

We are going to also do something new, as Boy B has asked that when we have our lunch tomorrow, that we start with saying what we are thankful for. It honestly caught me off guard when he asked, but at the same time, really made me proud. It also got me thinking about what I was thankful for this year, so here goes:

1) I am beyond blessed to have a great family. This includes my sons, my wife, my parents & brother and sister as well. But it also goes much further into close friends too.

2) That my wife was not severally hurt in her car accident this summer.

3) Even though I recently lost my grandfather, I had an amazing relationship with him and my life has and will be forever changed because of him.

4) We got a puppy who really completed our family.

5) Both boys are doing great in school and to go a step beyond that, Boy B is doing is really excelling and has been learning how to cope with ADHD in school and how it effects his learning.

These are just a few of the many things that I am truly thankful for this Thanksgiving. As I finish my break from cooking, from my family to yours, have a safe and Happy Thanksgiving.

Read more

I started this blog with the intent of being able to provide words of wisdom one day to my sons. I did this as a way to chronicle their lives and share things that I have seen as their Dad and also things that I went through. And as a Dad, I would be wrong if I didn’t include one of my favorite musicians, Drew Kennedy and a new song that he just released for his sons called Miles to Go.

‘Cause you got miles to go
When it’s easy between the lines and the curves
To turn the beautiful scenery of this life to a blur
So don’t let your ride run out of road
You’ve got miles to go

To my sons, I hope that you take these words to heart and realize how much there is to do and see and take chances. Take chances when you you get a chance, and more importantly, trust your gut feeling. Life isn’t always about staying safe, you have to take a chance every now and then. Sometimes, you will fail. Sometimes, you will succeed. But, this much I can promise you, if you don’t try, you will never truly live.

 

Read more

I was a little more than shocked to get a letter on Saturday morning that my son, Boy B, got most improved for the first quarter of the school year! This is a kid that has struggled in school. Not academically, but he has had issues controlling his emotions and being able to sit still in class.

To say that we have had a struggle with him would be an understatement. The struggles are just as real for him as they are for my wife and I. But, with all of the therapy, both the OT and child psychology are really starting to pay off.

When I got the letter, I was able to make it through the first sentence reading it to him. I was in tears and I rarely cry. But I was just so proud of my son. He has really embraced all that we have asked of him and not once has he asked why? Not once has he asked why does he go to OT and see a psychologist. Not once has he asked why does he take medicine every morning to help him focus?

So as my wife read the letter to him, he just beamed from ear to ear. And his brother, who got an award last year at school, was right there giving him a high five and cheering him on. It was really a great family moment.

So, in a time where most improved would be considered a small accomplishment, I view it as a proud moment. To see that look of accomplishment in my son’s face and for him to see how proud we were of him, is just priceless.

ADHD is not something to be afraid of or ashamed of, but my son, as have we, embraced who is and will continue to get him the help that he needs to overcome his struggles. But today, we celebrate the moment and his ability to overcome something that once caused him to struggle.

Read more

It is time. It is time to say goodby to my grandfather, who for years was there for me. He believed in me, when I didn’t see it in myself.

When it was time for me to move to Texas, my father asked my grandfather if I was ready and he said “it is time.” And it was.

You see, with my grandfather, time is a key component to his life. He was a farmer so his crops were time sensitive. He and I talked on Saturdays and that too was time sensitive.

But his death, I feel was also based on time. He and I talked every Saturday, for the last 20 plus years. And 2 Saturdays ago, we talked and he could barely get more than two sentences out, but his words were meaningful:

Take care of your children and your wife. Love them. And I will miss our Saturday talks. I love you.

And just like that, the conversation was over. It was over, because not only was he tired and was struggling to get those words out, but it was over, because it was time. He said what he needed to say and I replied with a simple Yes Sir and I love you.

Time is a precious thing. It is based on time and moments, but also hugs and love. These past few days, there has been a lot of hugs and love and in a few moments, time seemed to stand still.

When the US Army Color Guard played Taps, I cried. When they folded the flag and saluted my father, who is a retired US Full Bird Col., I really cried. Because it really hit me, that my grandfather was gone.

Yes, I saw him and took the boys to the visitation and they both went to see the body with my wife, while I stayed in the hallway. But in the sense of time, the visitation stood still. I saw friends and family that I have not seen in years. I saw friends that my dad had in both his professional and military life that I have not seen in years.

And as each person sought me out, I realized, that not only in that moment in time, did life seem ok. But more importantly, that in that moment of time, life was ok, because I was still close to my grandfather.

Time is important, both here in the present and also in the past.

Read more

Saying goodbye for me is really hard and often times feel uncomfortable in doing so. Last night, I got the call from my father, letting me know that my grandfather, his father, has passed away.

My grandfather was an amazing man or as I sum it up to most, he is my hero! He lived through the great depression. Fought in World War II. Bought and farmed land in North Carolina. He never knew a stranger. Always had a smile and would flirt with a cute woman in a minute.

I grew up living about an hour from him, so it was normal to go to the farm on a Saturday morning with my Dad and he and my grandfather and I would grab cane poles and go fishing on the pond on the farm. Or, they would let me drive to the hog pins and feed them, while they would laugh at me. We would laugh and carry on whenever the three of us together.

After I got the call, I felt numb. I teared up, not for the death of my grandfather, but because I would never be able to pickup the call and talk with him again. I wouldn’t be able to hear his voice and even on his worst day, that he would give me comfort or advice. He is and forever will be my hero.

My grandfather gave me advice about life, told me what he expected from me after he was gone and life’s little secrets to pass on to my kids. Today I lost my hero and saying goodbye is really hard.

My kids will be the ones that lose out the most, as they didn’t have the privilege of knowing my grandfather that well, as we live 7 hours plus from him. But as I prepare to tell them that their great grandfather has died, I keep coming back to a single Bible verse:

This is the day the Lord has made;
We will rejoice and be glad in it. – Psalm 118:24

This represents my father in so many ways and has provided comfort. Some of my fondest memories of my grandfather were at church. Seeing him smile, sing and more importantly pray in church. So as I morn the lost of my grandfather, there is a voice in the back of my head saying, remember that word rejoice.  My grandfather would not a single person to be upset over his death, but instead he would want us all to rejoice.

I know that the next several days will be hard. I know that telling my son’s that my grandfather has passed away will be hard, for me to say and for them to see me upset. But, the reality is simple, we all live and we all Die. It doesn’t get any simpler than that.

But, it is how we live our lives, that determines our future and how those rejoice our lives. And in the next several days, we will be rejoincing the life of my grandfather. A man that lived a simple life, but an amazing life. Goodbye my hero. Sleep easy tonight.

 

Read more

This has been a tough week. My grandfather is actively dying, work has been work and the boys have been ok. But it has been a tough week.

The boys have had a better week at both school and at home. They have done well with their nightly reading and math homework. But Boy B’s teacher has been out on medical leave and so his schedule has been a little off. I will say though that his medication has really helped with the last two weeks transitions with a substitute teacher.

As for my grandfather. The family has called in hospice to help provide comfort for him in his final days. And even though I have not been able to make the 7 hour drive south to say goodbye, I have been able to talk with him several times and we laugh, we cry and we say goodbye again. The call this past weekend was tough, because he was barely able to say “I love you”, but he did and I cried.

The older that I get, the more I realize what is really important. Work has been tough this week, for a lot of reasons. And maybe the things from my life have taken priority and/or overshadowed everything else, I have tried to keep composure. But life, is sometimes hard to control all aspects without a little struggle.

As I type this, one of the boys is watching the Houston Astros playoff baseball game (Go STROS!) and the other is in the bath. I just chilled a bottle of wine, because sometimes a good glass of wine is all that you need to help today be a little better. And as I get the boys ready for bed, I am quietly reflecting on the day and week.

This has been a tough week! But life can be that way more times than not. Sometimes, it is hard to step back and think about what is important because of life. And then there are days like today, that make me really realize what is truly important. So, with that, Go Stros! And I’ll put the boys to bed tonight, enjoy a good glass of wine and I’ll celebrate the final days of my grandfathers life.

Read more

For some reason, the thought of pulling teeth for the boys just never crossed my mind., until last night. I knew that Boy A had a really loose tooth, but I just figured that he would lose it like he did the first one, eating. But no.

So after dinner, he kept complaining that his tooth was really loose and he was in pain when eating. And the more he complained, the more my fair of pulling teeth became a reality. Just the thought scared me to death! I just keep thinking that I was going to hurt him and he was going to be in pain.

I tried to do what I thought was right, ignore the situation, offer him an apple and another slice of pizza, but that did not work at all. He chewed out of the other side of his mouth, which defeated the purpose. Then he asked for dental floss and I just could only imagine what crazy ideas that were going on through his mind, like ting it and slamming a door. Or tying it it and throwing something down the steps.

So as he was coming up with other ideas of how to get it out, I started texting fellow dads and they all said that they struggled the first time too, which did make me feel better. But, they all said to just pull it. Just grab a Kleenex and take it out. As I paced the hallway and kitchen, I got everything that I needed and just really need a few minutes to calm myself down and reassure myself that I was not going to hurt my son.

I had a glass of salt water on the counter to stop the bleeding, if there was any. A damped paper towel and a glass of wine for me. I had my son close his eyes and I took the Kleenex and felt how loose his tooth was and if he had eaten the apple, it would have come out, I am pretty sure. But I slide my thumb down and slowly lift his tooth out. I spent more time walking and pacing than it did to pull the tooth.

The tooth fairy came. He is happy. I was glad that my first experience of pulling teeth was not awful, but definitely never wracking. There are a lot of YouTube videos that are out there, so take a watch and see what works for you. The only real advice that I have, is to remain calm.

Read more