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My wife has been out of town the last 5 days, so the Kid drop off and pickup has fallen on me. It is hard being the only parent, I really have no idea how single parents do it full time.

Just for the last few days, I’ve had to adjust my wake up time, get ready myself, then get the kids ready and then head out the door for the kid drop off at daycare. Is it hard? Sure. But it is also rewarding. I love my time with the boys. I love being able to talk with them about all the things that they can do that day. I love getting them excited about school, because for me, it makes the kid drop off that much easier, for me.

Transitions are hard. They are hard on the kids, they are hard on the parents. We have to make sure that we are ok as well when we leave the kids, as the caregivers will be taking care of them for the day. It is scary pulling away from the drive way. It is hard when the kids are crying. But it is also really rewarding picking them up in the afternoon. To have them run full steam and grab onto my legs. I love hearing all the things that they did at school. The activities, the things that they did with their friends, etc.

Today’s kid drop off was better than yesterday. Today, Baby B made it in, took his coat off and his shoes off and put them up against the wall. He hugged and kissed me goodbye, as his brother gave me a highfive and ran to play. Baby B has always struggled more with transitions, but today I was able to make it out the door and into the drive way before he cried.

It broke my heart, especially today and I don’t know why? The kid drop off is probably one of the hardest parts of my day and picking them up at night is without a doubt the best. So here is hoping that tomorrows kid drop off is a little easier.

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On my worst day, it isn’t as bad as most. On my worst day, I get to hug these two little boys. On my worst day, I get two little boys that trust me and call me dad. On my worst day, I get hugs and kisses goodnight.

Today was a challenge. Work is just insane. But they ran to me when I picked them up and hugged and kissed me. Today was not bad at that point.

I am realizing more and more that fatherhood is all about perspective. And today, I choose that being with my boys is a good day.

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Today, the boys and I ventured out and had a little Sunday Funday!  Since it was such a nice day, we took a short drive out to the country to visit a local pumpkin patch, then the Nature Center, pizza for dinner and then called it a night.

While out at the pumpkin patch, I put the boys on horses for the first time and they loved it. They laughed and giggled the entire time. They talked about wanting a lasso and saying “YEEE HAWWW!”  And as I sat and watched my sons, I realized how much that they were growing up and growing up entirely too fast. They were on their own. They were sitting there on a horse and loving life. But after the horse rides, we took a hay ride over to the pumpkin patch and they listened, they played, they looked at pumpkins and they enjoyed every minute of being out there.

But what I realized, was that they were growing up. They were learning and putting things that we’ve taught them into practice. They were absorbing. They were learning. They were having fun.

When we got home, Baby B fell asleep 10 minutes after we left the restaurant and when we got home, Baby A helped me bringing in a small grocery bag, but what I didn’t realize, is that while I was getting Baby B changed and into bed, Baby A was downstairs putting the contents of the bag on the table for me. He said that he had seen me empty groceries and wanted to help. He was growing up!

What I’m learning about being a father of twins, is that no two days are alike, just like my sons. I’m learning that though Baby A has a HUGE vocabulary, Baby B can count from 0 – 30 and also in increments of 10s, from 10 to 100. I am learning that Baby A can adjust to things a lot easier than Baby B, especially if he is tired. I’m learning that you can’t compare twins, plain and simple, but what you can do, is realize that they are different individuals that just so happened were born 1 min and 30 seconds apart. I am learning that what works for one, may or may not work for the other in terms of discipline and also teaching them new things.

But what I’ve learned more than anything, is that they are becoming more and more independent and are growing up entirely too fast.

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It was one of those moments that I had to do a double take and actually move closer to my son and make sure that what I was hearing, was in fact Spanish. And it was. My son was singing a song in Spanish, just as I thought that I had heard.

And it wasn’t just one of the boys singing in Spanish, it was both and Baby B, who had the delayed speech, was the first one singing in Spanish. But the really cool thing, is that they are able to actually understand a few words in Spanish now.

There were two things that I really wanted to start the boys on at an early age, 1) martial arts and 2) speaking Spanish. Well, 1 of the 2 has already started, now we just need to keep them using it and engaged with it. Being bi-lingual will only help them in the long run.

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I have noticed that I use the phrase “it’s ok” a lot. When the boys fall and scrap their knee, when the boys are struggling with sharing, or like tonight when Baby A awoken with a night terror, I rocked him and tried to calm him down by saying “it’s ok”.

As a patent it is our job to provide and protect out kids. But there are times when it’s ok is a lie. Sometimes I think that we are trying to convince ourselves, in order for to  believe that things are going to be ok, when we aren’t necessarily sure or not?  Tonight was just another bad dream, but at some point it will be more serious, because after all they are children.  And at some point in time, I’ll keep telling my sons that “it’s ok”, to not only calm them down, but to calm myself down too.

But tonight, as the temperatures have started turning cooler and as Baby A and I rocked, life was more than ok.  I was able to hold and comfort him. I was able to just rock and hear him breathe. And for those few minutes, we were both ok. We were both at peace and we were both drifting off to sleep.

And as my boys grow up, they go through life, I hope that they realize this little life lesson. I hope that  at some point in time, when the roles will reverse and I am the one scared, they he will look at me and say that it’s ok.

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I love going home and having conversations with the boys. The tell me about their day at school, what they did, playing with their friends and usually what they ate for lunch. To see how they get excited over playing ball with a friend is just awesome.

I just never knew having twin three year old boys could be this much fun! And as they are growing up, and conversations change, it is getting even better. They are able to tell me what they want to eat each night for dinner, clothes that they want to wear for bedtime.

With the transition to a new daycare, one thing that I’ve really noticed is that Baby B is really starting to come out of shell and talk more. He is having more and more conversations with his brother and us for that matter. He is now being forced to talk more, which has been great.  He is now asking for things that he would never do and talking about playing and sharing. But to be able to listen to the conversations between the boys is truly the best. Baby B will grab their coats and let his brother know that he has his coat that he is ready to go home now.

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When the boys were younger, I looked forward to quiet time each day, not only because it afforded me time to get things done, but also because it allowed the boys a chance to rest. But now that the boys are three, quiet time is a rare things these days.

But last night, I got a glimpse of the quiet time that I so miss. We got the boys fed and ready for bed by 7:30 and they were out. We took them on a 3.2 mile walk yesterday and though they sat in the stroller, after the walk they did a lot of running. But it really wore them out and me too for that matter. And at 7:31, I closed the door to the boys room, walked downstairs, grabbed a beer and turned on college football.

It was amazing. It was also too quiet. I am use to with nose. Kids laughing or fighting, my wife talking, interacting with the kids, etc. But last night there was quiet time.

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I blogged a few weeks ago about Ray Rice, then the full video was released and he was released by the Baltimore Ravens and suspended by the NFL.  Since the fall out of the incident, several other NFL players have been either arrested and/or it come to light that they had hit their spouse or significant other.  Ray Rice, Greg Hardy, Ray McDonald, Jonathan Dwyer, and though Adrian Peterson didn’t hit his spouse, it is alleged that he hit his son(s).

So here is the question, why? Why do men feel the need to hit women or their kids? I was not raised that way and I sure as heck will not raise my children to ever raise their hands to a woman and make her feel scared. Each case is different. Each case is currently being tried in a court of public opinion, but not in a court of law. Ray Rice’s case is not up for being reconsidered, as it would fall under double jeopardy, but McDonald, Dwyer and Peterson will have their day in court.

As father’s, it is our job to raise our sons to be leaders, role models, respected men in the communities, not beating those that can not defend themselves.  There are several issues at hand & these are strictly my opinions:

1) The NFL has not acted swiftly enough or handed out strict penalties thus far for domestic violence crimes.
2) For the record, I do not fall in the category of those that believe that the Baltimore Ravens conspired with the NFL to get Ray Rice a shorter sentence. I was fortunate enough to meet Ray a few years ago and he could not have been nicer to my sons. He talked with them and interacted with them and signed a photo for them. Was the Ray Rice incident blown out of proportion? In my opinion, no. From what I saw in the video, he punched his now wife in the face. Should be suspended indefinitely, no, as he needs to earn a living. But, does that mean that he should sit out a year, or two, yes. But that is up to the commissioner of the NFL. 3) Our society, especially father’s, are not there for their kids. I don’t mean all the time, but father’s and I am included in this, need to be present more for our kids. They want and need our attention, so shouldn’t we give that to them? Shouldn’t we want to put our phones away and spend time with our kids? But in doing so, we need to ensure that we are teaching our kids right from wrong, good vs. evil, etc.
4) As it pertains to the Peterson case, if it is true that he just spanked his son with a switch, let’s be honest, there are not enough jail cells in America to hold all  of our grandparents and parents. But, again, if we as father’s show that we don’t have to spank first and then talk to our kids, but reverse that so that we talk with our children, I really believe that we will get things going on the right track.

Having worked with professional athletes before, both at the MLB level, as well as the NFL, it is easy to get caught up in the hype that these guys play a game that we all love. But they are humans. They do bleed if you cut them. They will snap if you push too hard. It appears that the public is starting to grow weary of the NFL and the antics of some of their players. But until the NFL really gets serious, does any of this matter?

Father’s spend time with your kids. Talk with them. Take an interest. DON’T BECOME A STATISTIC.

The NFL is just a game, but hurting a spouse or child is a life altering decision.  Domestic violence is a serious thing and NO ONE should live a life of fear.

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The boys have been doing great with potty training. While we were on vacation, there were was one potty accident per each child, the entire 12 days that we were gone.

Today, the boys went back to their new preschool for their first full week and each boy had two accidents today alone. It was as if we took a step back today. I realize that a lot has to do with change. A new place, even though they have been several times.

Change is hard on children. Divorce. New preschool, moving, etc. can cause a minor step back, but we are trying to provide as much positive praise and encouragement and getting the boys acclimated again to their routine.

For my wife and I, we have spent so much time focusing on the boys potty training, that at first this minor step back was frustrating, but as we talked through all the changes that the boys are going through, ie. A new daycare, a long vacation and no longer at being at home everyday, we are changing what they have really known for a long time. But we both agree that once we get into the new daycare routine, we feel that the potty training issues will subside.

Patience and a lot of love and encouragement. That is what we are focusing on this week.

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Today my wife and I celebrate our sixth wedding anniversary while we are on vacation.  As all couples, we have had struggles and challenges, but with those adversities, we came out stronger and closer.

We have had several family members to pass away, including a tragic accident that took my wife’s mother 3 months after we got married. We dealt with challenges in getting pregnant,  disa

ppointment when tests returned negative and blown away when we were told that we were having twins.

We have both had struggles and challenges with our careers, but throughout each challege, we came out stronger and closer together. So tonight as we celebrate our anniversary with our friends and family on our last night of our vacation, I am just thankful for the life that I get to live.

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