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I know, it is past January 1 and everyone in the world sets their New Years Resolutions on January 1. And by January 3rd, most are already broken.

I went back and looked at the past two posts that I made on Resolutions which can be found here and here.  So the common theme is just like many, finances and weight loss. So, here are my goals:

1) Financial – Save $2,000 & pay off 2 more credit cards.

2) Weight Loss – As of today, I am down 22 pounds from last year today. That being said, I want to be down another 20 pounds by our summer vacation.

3) Find a church – This has been a huge struggle for me this past year. We haven’t been to church as we should/I’ve wanted to and it has been something that has been really missing in my life.

4) Be a better father – Again, something that we all say, but it is something that I really want to focus on. I want to teach my sons more. I want to be more loving and attentive, though I feel that I am, I feel that I can always improve.

So there, those are my Resolutions for 2015. I have talked with my wife and we are going to hold each other accountable with our resolutions and not just fall aside.

 

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I have been told by many parents that at some point, the question “Why” is asked every other minute. But what I am getting is less “why” and more “Daddy…..” and then followed up with a list of questions.

I was driving the boys home this weekend and literally every other minute I was asked a question that started with Daddy…..

Daddy, where is the car beside us going?
Daddy, when are we going to see Mommy?
Daddy, what is for dinner?
Daddy, are we going to the toy store?
Daddy, are we going to have pizza for dinner?

You get the idea.

Sure, I wanted to listen to the radio and rock out to some Wade Bowen, but instead, I listened to my kids ask me questions for 45 minutes and I loved it. I love that they want to learn. I love that they want to know more and trust me that I’m going to give them a good answer.

So last night, as I put the boys down and Baby A said Daddy….. it was simply followed with, I love you and then I closed the door and he and his brother went to sleep.

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Today the news broke that Stuart Scott, at the age of 49 and a long time ESPN announcer, lost his battle with cancer. As any sports fan, father and human being, the news stung. Growing up, I watched Stuart Scott everyday on ESPN and watched him because not only the one liners, but his human approach to stories.  Sure his catch phrases “As cool as the other side of the pillow” were used on a regular basis, he was more than just a sports announcer, he was also a father.

I was fortunate to have met Stuart years ago and by that, I mean at least 12 + years ago when he was at a celebrity golf tournament. What struck me about him the most, was that it wasn’t just the fans that wanted to talk with him, but other celebrities wanted his time too. He was personable and felt like you were talking with a friend. And I only spoke with him for a few minutes, but when I did, we talked about UNC, where he graduated and where I grew up following and loving as a fan. He beamed when talking about UNC basketball and his thoughts for the upcoming year. And as it was his time to tee up, he shook my hand and thanked me for talking about UNC, a place he loved.

Today, as many have done, I’ve watched Stuart’s ESPY video and recounted the his words, because they ring so very true:

“When you die it does not mean that you lose to cancer. You beat cancer by how you live, why you live, and in the manner in which you live.”

We are all defined in how we choose to live our lives and when advisory hits, you can either give up or fight and that is what Stuart Scott did, he fault cancer and he fault for his family.


And as friends of Stuart’s pour out their hearts and emotions on Twitter, Facebook and other social media outlets, it was Rich Eisen’s emotional farewell to his friend that was the hardest for me.


The reality is this, at some point in time, we will all be faced with the fact that someone we love or us for that matter, will be faced with Cancer. It is just a fact. So tonight, in  honor of Stuart Scott, I’ll be making a donation to the Jimmy V Foundation, the same foundation that was started by and in honor of Jimmy Valvano, head coach of NC State University, but also who awarded Stuart the award last year. It is my hope and prayer that through the research that the Jimmy V Foundation is currently doing, that one day, Cancer will be a word that is no longer used and that no more lives are lost to.

Tonight, Stuart, as I say a prayer for you and more importantly your young daughters and your family, I will ask God for peace and strength for them. That they may remember the positives and remember the lives that he touched. And tonight, I’ll turn my pillow over to the cool side in your honor. Sleep easy tonight Stuart.

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For the last 10 Days, my wife has been sick with an upper respiratory infection and for the last 7 days, I’ve been dealing with the same thing. It has really been hard on our family, because we still had to take care of our kids, while trying to get better.

I like to believe that any situation that we are faced, both if it is something good or a challenge like being sick, that my wife and I can learn from it so that the next time, we are able to handle it even better. Because there will be a next time.

The things that we did well:

  • We communicated a lot when I was at work & if I needed to come home early or pick up the kids from daycare.
  • We took turns putting the boys to bed. This allowed for at least one to get an earlier start to resting.

The things that we didn’t do as well:

  • We got short with each other, which is understandable because we were sick and didn’t have the patience.
  • We didn’t ask for help as quickly when we needed it.

10 days being sick is a long time. And it is especially harder when you are sick with children. But one thing that we both learned, is that we were able to come through it, the boys were ok, I’m all but over mine and my wife is getting there.

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December 26th or as most refer to it, the Day After Christmas is here. Kids are playing with their new toys, many parents, like myself are back at work and Santa is resting and relaxing after a busy Christmas night.

As I sit at the office and reflect on Christmas morning, I had a few things that have continued to pop into my head that really stood out.

  1. The boys really did a great job of sharing yesterday morning. They each got completely different sets of toys, which I am asked a lot if we have a duplicates. We have really tried to avoid that, but it does happen occasionally.
  2. The boys really asked Santa for only 1 toy each and the reactions when they got those were priceless.
  3. I got to witness Baby A and his cousin last night have a conversation about Santa and the toys that they received. I just wished that I had caught the whole conversation on video, because it was priceless.
  4. Christmas day for adults is and should really only be about the kids. Nothing else matters.
  5. Seeing Christmas through the eyes of your children, there is no greater gift.

As I sit at work this morning, the day after Christmas, it is quiet. A much different than yesterday morning, to say the least. The boys had an amazing day. They are blessed more than they will ever know.

I’m going to take a few days off from blogging and enjoy some time with my kids.

So from my family to yours, have a safe and happy holidays!

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It is finally Christmas Eve and this year is a little different than previous year. Both boys work up around 1am this morning and both had pink eye.  There is nothing normal about pink eye on Christmas Eve and being sick.

We started the morning at our pediatricians office and both got antibiotics. We got home, the rested, took meds and ultimately Baby B ended up taking a nap.

I wanted to try and keep some sense of normalcy to our Christmas Eve as possible. Church was obviously out, but we could watch some classic Christmas movies. So we have watched Charlie Brown Christmas and Rudolph and Elf is up next. I made a Christmas concoction that smells great and smelt like Christmas. And now I am making Wassil.

I wanted to try to blend traditions from both my wife and my childhood’s for Christmas Eve for the boys. This year has been amazing, for so many reasons. This year, the boys actually “got” Christmas and Santa. So this has been a lot of fun for them, but also for me.

So tonight, as we all try to get better, my wife is now at Urgent Care being seen for pink eye, I ordered Chinese and the boys and I are watching Christmas movies.

We will eat dinner together, watch Christmas movies and read some Christmas books. And I hope that this isn’t a Christmas tradition being started with being sick.

Tonight, enjoy the moment. Enjoy the innocence of Christmas Eve. Enjoy the moment of seeing Christmas through the eyes of your children.

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This morning, as I sipped on my morning coffee and watched the boys looking at the Christmas Tree, I just couldn’t help to stop and think about my mother in law.  And I am not sure why today she popped into my head?  Maybe it is because last night we got the cookware that she has ordered shortly before she died? Maybe it was because my wife and I had been talking more about her?  Maybe it is because she and I loved Christmas and I see that love starting to form with my sons and see their excitement.

But whatever the reasons are, I was was blessed beyond belief to have had such an amazing mother in law, my biggest regret is that she was taken from us entirely too soon. She was kind hearted, loving and just an amazing person. Before my wife and I were married, she joked with us about our children and how they would be and the challenges that they would present.

My mother in law and I shared many common loves. Her daughter first and foremost, but cooking, a good glass of wine, a good joke and more importantly, Christmas. We were big kids when it came to Christmas and she and I would often sit and talk for hours by the Christmas Tree on Saturday mornings.

Today, as I sit and watch the boys interacting with each other and looking at the ornaments on our Christmas Tree, I really miss my mother in law. I miss her for so many reasons, her smile, her laughter, her advice, her hugs, her voice when she would sing in church and from a really selfish way, the fact that she never got to meet her grandsons.

And of course, the boys favorite ornament on the Christmas Tree, is the Charlie Brown ornament with the true meaning of Christmas. Every year that she is not here, gets a little better, but I wish that she were here with the boys looking at the Christmas Tree this morning

 

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A few weeks ago, my wife discovered Flaxie Packs while at a Christmas fair. When she first told me, I wondered why she got them, but that night, I wanted to hug her.

Baby A has struggled with his sleep almost from Day 1. So, when my wife talked with the owners of Flaxie Packs and they mentioned that some use it for their kids to help them sleep, it was worth the money to try. Well, that first night, Baby A slept through the night for the first time in quite awhile.

He loved that it was warm and it immediately got him to settle down and start relaxing.  Every night now, before he goes to bed, he asks if we can warm his Flaxie Pack.  And as I type this post, my son is sound asleep, snuggled up with his Flaxie Pack.

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It is funny how becoming a parent changes the way that you view things and your reactions. For example, Baby A has had a few pee accidents at school and when he told me Friday that it happened again, I just smiled, hugged him and said “It Happens!”

I had two choices, make a big deal out of really nothing and more importantly, make my son feel bad like I was upset with him or blow it off and make it really a non issue, which it was.  Kids need to learn that in life, there are important things to get upset over and then there are things that just don’t matter in life. I want my kids to know right from wrong. I want them to learn that there is a time to be serious and a time to laugh. I want them to understand that it is ok to make a mistake, because It Happens.

I’ll never forget when I was 16 years old and I had only been driving for a few months. It was a winter Monday morning, I was approaching a curve at about 30 miles per hour and I never saw the black ice. I remember after I flipped my jeep, my dad is going to kill me. As I got out of my jeep, I surveyed the damage and was pretty sure that it was totaled, but I did the hardest thing to date, I called my Dad. That was the longest 15 minute wait for my Dad to arrive and I remember apologizing and him stopping me. He asked if I was ok? And when I mentioned the jeep, he stopped me again and asked if I was ok? I reassured him that I was and he said simply, “it was an accident, it happens.”

My accident cost a lot of money that day, but the lesson that I learned was that my father could have come down on me or he could have taught me about love and that sometimes that the best lessons in life, are taught with the simple phrase, “it happens”.

So later that day, my sons and I were talking and I was not paying attention and I dropped my apple on the floor and Baby A looked at me and said “Daddy, it is ok, It Happens”.

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This past Friday night, my wife and I went to her Christmas party and we had decided that I would be the DD so that my wife could have a good time and have fun with her co-workers. Somewhere during the night, I started thinking back to a song that I heard previously this week by Edwin McCain and the song is called “Sorry I’m a Little Sober“. The verse that kept going through my head was:

Sorry, I’m a little sober
In the morning I’ll be nursing and cursing
My clarity hangover

I kept wondering, how many in this room are going to wake up tomorrow with a hangover? How many are going to wake up tomorrow tomorrow with a headache and more importantly, regrets?  My biggest issue is that I’m going to have a clarity hangover and grateful that I was sober.  Sure, I still will have a beer or a glass of wine, but right now, I’m enjoying just being a little sober and seeing things in different ways. Now, I realize that this sounds a little like I have a drinking problem and that isn’t the case at all. At most, I would have a drink a night, maybe 2 during a game. But I am seeing that being sober in a different way though and to me, sober isn’t just with drinking, but life. I

I am using this time of being sober and my clarity hangover to focus on the important things, working out, losing weight, my kids, being a better dad, etc. As of yesterday I have lost 11 pounds in a month! I don’t know that I would have been as focused on this 3 months ago. Maybe I wasn’t thinking clearly because of work? Stress of life? Kids? But today I am focused. I am thinking clearly and more focused and determined on what really matters the most in life.



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