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Every had one of those days? Sure, we all have.

Yesterday, was one of those days for me and I learned a valuable less and a trick that really helped.

I had been in an all day meeting and literally as I walked out, my phone rang and it was my wife. I knew that she was on the way to pick up the kids, but it wasn’t completely out of the norm for her to call and ask what I was cooking for dinner or grab something at store, etc. But her voice was different and I knew immediately wrong. “I was in an accident and rear ended someone” that was all that she said.  My heart dropped and after I made sure that she was ok, I just had to get off the phone because I was beyond frustrated.

My mind raced, how bad was the damage, was the other person hurt, how in the hell did my wife rear end a second car in 2 months? So, I had to make a decision in how did I respond and react to my wife, because I was not happy. Accidents happen, but I was pretty sure it was something that was avoidable. On my walk to my jeep I texted my buddy and told him that I need to call and vent and he said to call when ready. I literally got in my jeep, dialed my buddy and I went off. Just a few minutes later, after my buddy let me vent, I was calm and relaxed and that 5 minutes helped me for my drive home and saved the night completely. And when I got home, I walked in, hugged and kissed the boys and my wife and when we talked, my wife got upset. But I realized my wife wasn’t mad at me, but she was upset with herself and her embarrassed.

It was one of those days, but I realized that I have a great group of friends and that I can pick up the phone and vent and it saved the night.  But I am just grateful that my wife was ok and that my boys were not with her during the accident, but there was no damage to the van and limited damage to the other person’s car. Life is short and we have to be grateful for the moment.

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Tonight as the boys and I were reading our nightly stories, we finished up Max Lucado’s “God Thinks Your Wonderful” and as we were reading, Baby B sits up in bed and says “Gods Way Is Perfect!”  And then he sat back down in his bed and I tried to finish reading the book.

After that point, I really don’t remember much of the story other than I just wanted to hug my son.

Today was one of those days at work, things didn’t go according to plan and I just didn’t seem to get ahead. But tonight, after Baby B said “Gods Way Is Perfect” I just felt like God was talking to me. And I don’t mean that in a weird way, but I felt that was my time with God tonight. I had already read my devotional, but that was my moment of God saying that everything was ok! But tonight, in that moment, life was ok, better than ok, it was perfect.

Tonight, Gods Way Is Perfect!

 

 

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Work hard and you will be rewarded. That is today’s message.

My Grandparents generation was and is the greatest generation of all time. They suffered through the Great Depression and through hard work, they overcame. They fought in WWII and through hard work, they won.

My parents generation is part of the baby boomers. They were born during or after WWII and many fought in the Vietnam war. Through hard work, they over came the gas shortages, rocky stock markets, housing declines, etc.

My generation is part of the Gen X generation and I honestly don’t know of any major struggles that we have had, other than the Persian Gulf War and then a few other wars and 9/11. But somewhere in the later part of my generation and into the next generation, I have seen a shift in the values of hard work. There is less of a need to get your hands dirty and do a job, but instead there is a perception that people will give you things, because people feel that they are entitled to it.

Kids, hard work will not kill you. It might hurt you, it might give you back pains, it might tire you out, but what I hope that hard work will do is give you a vision of what you want to do with your life. I want to provide my boys with the opportunities that I did not have. I want them to experience things, that I did not as a kid.

What I’m realizing more and more, is that there is another shift in thought process and perception of hard work. I have a feeling that kids today will have a different way of doing this than we did. I think that there will be more trade jobs that are going to studied in school, as the demand will be very high. I think that less kids will goto college, but will focus on things that they have a passion for. I think that you’ll see more and more people, helping others, because it is the right thing to do. I think that you’ll see a change from less outsourcing of jobs to foreign countries, to more people looking to to work hard.

These are my hopes for my kids as they grow older and plan their careers. I hope that they will work hard and work in a career that brings them joy and fulfills them.

Hard work will not be the end of any of us, but doing hard work, for something that we love doing, is rewarding.

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To all of the fathers out there, Happy Father’s Day!

Tonight, as I rocked the boys and got them settled, I started to drift back to my childhood. And as the thunderstorm started, I was taken back to when I was about 10, sitting on the back porch with my dad, just talking or not. My father and I haven’t always had the best relationship. There are a lot of reasons, none that ever need to be made public, but what does need to be made public is the outcome. And as I was rocking the boys and kissing their heads, a text from my dad came in wishing me a Happy Father’s Day and it got me thinking and this is for the most part, my text back to my dad.

As the boys drift off to sleep, I am reminded of my childhood. I am reminded of the nights when you would get a call to be activated with the Army and needed to leave within a few hours. I am reminded of the nights of talks on the back porch during storms, as we are having one now. I am reminded about the good and sometimes the bad, but how we always get back to the good, somehow.

It hasn’t always been an easy path, but I have never doubted for a single minute your love or if I needed you, that you wouldn’t be there for me. You taught me courage & leadership. You taught me that it is ok to lean on friends and ask for help. You showed me that it is ok to let your kids see a vulnerable side.

I remember the night we talked, I think it was a Thursday night, in the work shop & you told me that you were being activated for the Persian Gulf War and it was one of the few times you teared up and said that you were afraid. I remember the Friday night, you were sitting on your bed & you said that things had to change between you and mom. I remember the call you made to let me know that grandma had passed away.

Throughout each of those things, you provided comfort to me, when you were hurting. I just hope and pray, that if i am faced with any challenges, that I can do that for the boys. You trained me to lead & take charge. You trained me to face challenges head on and move past them. You trained me , treat everyone with respect, especially those that serve.

I love you dad. We’ve been through a lot, but beer, beer & hops somehow seemed to make sense on an call one morning.

You see, throughout it all, the good and the bad, my Dad was always there. We might have gone weeks or months without speaking, but I knew that if I needed him, he was there for me, just as I will always be there for my kids. My father was a Col. in the Army, so when I say that I was trained, it isn’t that much of a stretch, but those trainings, have taught me a lot about life. Good and bad. What to do and what not to do.

Those things, have shaped me into the father that I am today. So to all of the father’s out there, my father, my grandfather and my father in law, to list a few, I salute you all and raise my glass and toast you all.

Happy’s Father’s Day

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The kids have really been having a hard time lately with their bedtime. They just haven’t been able to stay in their beds and going to sleep, it has been we have to pee, we need to read, we need to rock, and my personal favorite is when they ask me to go outside and see if a panda bear is out there. Well, my wife and I have been planning for weeks to take the boys to the zoo today and when I had gotten tired of them fighting yesterday I told them of our plans and if they didn’t stop, that we weren’t going.

Wow, was that the trick. They immediately started helping cleanup their toys, are most of their dinner and after bath, I had them in bed asleep in record time. And it was cool to hear all of the animals that they wanted to see today at the zoo.

Normally we take the kids to the aquarium to see the fish and other animals, but we had tickets from the office and thought that this would be a great family day. I remember as a kid only going to the zoo, maybe one time and that was with school, so it is really important to my wife and I that we expose the kids to as many educational opportunities as possible.

So, as I type this, it is about 30 minutes before I had hoped that tbe kids were waking up and only and since Baby A woke me up to ask if it was time to go to the zoo or not? Excited? Yeah, just a little, but since they have been to the zoo a few times already, he was asking if we could see the panda bear first and then he basically mapped out our visit.

So as I sip my coffee and we wait for my wife and Baby B to wake up, we talk about the zoo and the animals.

I love mornings like this.

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A buddy of mine emailed me this morning about his kids and how they are really picky eaters and asked for advice. I really don’t know that I’m qualified to give advice on much of anything outside of writing some code and making BBQ sauce.

But what I realized in thinking was that, when I was my sons age I too was one of those picky eaters because my parents didn’t expose me to other foods. That isn’t a knock against my parents, but they also let me try foods once and then when I would push it away, they would just go to an old staple like hamburgers or hotdogs. Now, fast forward many years and I’m a parent many of the things that I use to push way, like spaghetti, I love to eat and love to cook it for the boys and they usually eat 2 – 3 servings at a sitting.

It is easy to offer once and then goto a standard and I’m not saying that I haven’t done that, I did it last night as a matter of fact. But I am also really trying to offer the kids as many different types of foods that I can and more importantly, let them figure out the foods that they like and don’t like. As long as they really try something, if they don’t like it, then I’ll figure out something out, but I really want them to try it and then let me know what they did not like about it. Maybe it was too salty for them? Maybe if I can alter an ingredient or two, they will love it?

So here is my only advice for those with picky eaters, try and encourage different foods and try to encourage it a few different times if they don’t like it at first. Change up the recipes if needed too because rarely will you every make the same dish multiple times identically. So good luck cooking and here’s to those with picky eaters to trying something new.

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It was bound to happen, the biggest question is was when were the boys going to have to have stitches? Well, today was the day.

This morning before 8am, the boys were running around and chasing each other, as they usually do. My wife had been out late due to work and I was brushing my teeth and I hear baby A crying. Not thinking much of it, he comes in and puts his head on me and it was then I realized that he was bleeding. The crying came from him hitting his head on the chair.

I am fortunate, because of the company that I work for and some of the projects that I have been apart of, I have become close friends with many doctors and they always say, when you need something, text or call. Well, I needed something today, as I was pretty sure Baby A needed stitches. I got Baby B to daycare and was able to reach one of my friends and they got Baby A as the first patient of the day at the urgent care center.

What seemed like forever to was really only 5 minutes, but they got him back to the kids room and cleaned up and the Nurse Practitioner pulled us and said that he needed stitches. My heart sunk. He was ok, but still I hated to think that he was having to go through this, as I was 34 when I had stitches for the first  time and ironically in the very same room.

We waited about 30 minutes for the topical numbing medicine to work and then about 5 people came into the room and brought in a board to strap him down. My heart sunk. Tears started to form. As they strapped him down, so that he wouldn’t move around and get hurt, I had to walk away. I couldn’t watch them stitch him up, because it hurt seeing him in pain, even though he wasn’t in pain.  Honestly, he was stronger and braver than his mommy and myself.

A few minutes later, he was up and running around and digging his stitches. And let’s be honest, chicks dig scars! This will be just one of many trips to the doctors office or urgent care centers for stitches. Boys will be boys and accidents happen, I’m just so grateful that it was only 3 stitches as it could have been so much worse. But something that I’m realizing is that kids are stronger and handle things a lot better than we give them credit for.

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Nothing good comes when a sentence starts with “It’s one of those ……” and you can fill in the blank as to what could be said.

It’s one of those days….
It’s one of those outfits….
It’s one of those types of families…..

You get the idea. Well, a co-worker mentioned the other day about her church, which is a local Catholic Church and when she asked about the music at the church that we attend, I mentioned that they led off the previous service with Zac Brown Band’s Homegrown and she looked at me and said, oh, you attend on of those churches.

Now, you have to know my co-worker and understand their personality to accept the backhanded comment a little easier. But this one just kind of hit me wrong and it did for several reasons.

1) They knew that I attended church and at the end of the day, isn’t that the most important thing? Not which denomination, but the fact that we attend.
2) The boys love this church. They are literally asking each day if we are going to church. HUGE!
3) This is the first church that my wife and I have attended and have loved being a part of. We feel like we belong. We feel like we are apart of something bigger here. Something bigger than we did when we attended the United Methodist Church and my wife and I both attended a Methodist church our entire lives, so over 30 years.

So I stood quiet for a moment and gathered my thoughts, because my first response would not have been the right one. So I smiled and said yes, yes we do attend one of those churches. We attend a church that is reaching over 1,200 each Sunday. We are attending one of those churches that had missionaries in 3rd world countries but also doing amazing local outreach in our community. We attend one of those churches that meets people where they want to be met, not following the traditional worship style. We attend one of those churches that goes out among the people and make a difference.  And it is more revealing to more and more each Sunday why contemporary/non-denominational churches are growing and reaching more and more people each week and why the traditional church is losing members at a large level.

So why do I mention faith and religion and church as much as I have lately? Not sure to be honest, it is just something that I’ve been thinking more about lately. But what I know is that attending this church has done something big in the lives of my children and strengthen the relationship between my wife and myself. And I hope, at some point when my kids read this, that they will see how that we have tried to show them a greater being in faith.

So yes, we attend one of those churches, one of those churches that is changing lives, including mine.

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“If there ever comes a day when we can’t be together keep me in your heart. I’ll stay there forever.” A.A. Milne aka – Winnie the Pooh

I saw this quote recently and it reminded me of the first time that I had read it, which was after the death of a friend in High School and recently, my buddy and I were talking about my mother-in-law’s death. And it got me thinking about the impact on my son’s lives and would they remember me, if something happened to them? Would they keep me in their heart, when it comes a day for my death.

I’ve tried to do what is right by my kids and I hope that I’m showing them the importance of putting others needs before their own. Treating others with respect, and they will be respected in return. I hope that they would continue upon the road of a deepen faith. And I hope that they would take care of their mother and to always make decisions based on their gut feeling and to trust that feeling.

I know that when it is time for me to say goodbye to my parents, though I would be sad, my parents instilled in me values and respect and to have a deeper faith. But they also showed me what it is like to be a parent. To put your kids in front of everything else.

“If there ever comes a day when we can’t be together keep me in your heart. I’ll stay there forever.” – Words of wisdom from Winnie the Pooh

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My wife forwarded this article entitled 13 Signs You’re a Parent of Twin Babies, which you can read here. But we had a good laugh, because this pretty much correct of our everyday lives.

And as we read the article, we took each one and added or commented on how true it was for us, so here goes:

1. Your house is starting to look like a daycare center.
Amen to that! We are forever cleaning up the living room, wiping toys down with Clorox and sweeping the floors.

2. Coffee is the new water.
This wasn’t something that I’ve really had a problem with. I’ve been drinking coffee for years, so I don’t know that I’ve increased my daily consumption?

3. You don’t want to hear about single-baby problems.
Every parent has problems, doesn’t matter if they have one kid or 12. To me, parenting is hard no matter how many kids you have.
For us, we don’t know any different, so we only are able to comprehend what we have experienced.

4. There is no such thing as running a quick errand.
This is true. I took the boys to church, then to get donuts and then to the grocery store and by and far the hardest of the trip was the grocery store.
And it was hard because, it was “Can we have this?” “We need chips!” “We need cookies!” “We need ice cream!” Ok, the last one was me, but point being,
that if it had been just me, I could have been in and out of the store in under 20 minutes. With the boys, though they helped, they do require a little longer.
And then the amount of time that it takes to buckle one in, then go to the other side and buckle the other up, put away groceries and then the cart, it takes longer.

5. Getting them to sit still at the same time is an Olympic sport.
We took the boys to the Memorial Day Parade over the weekend and all in all, they wanted to join the parade. I mean, who doesn’t, but sitting still can be hard.

6. You don’t remember what quiet sounds like.
The last quiet night that I had, was the night before the boys were born. And even that night, it wasn’t that quiet, as I couldn’t sleep waiting on the arrival of the boys.

7. You never stop doing laundry. Never.
I think that we did 4 loads this weekend and that was a slow weekend.

8. Your twins are a magnet for public affection and you can’t go anywhere without questions, oohs, ahhs and the dreaded baby pokes from strangers.
So very true. And as soon as the boys started talking, women flocked to them immediately. I have told my brother for years, just take the boys to lunch and you’ll
have no problem meeting women.

9. You’re going to lose it if one more person asks, “Are they twins?”
My favorite responses that I use are: 1) We have twins? Oh my God, who knew? 2) Nope, we had one, saw the other sitting on a park bench thumbing for a ride,
we figured why the hell not?

10. You don’t need to go to the gym anymore.
      So very true, but who needs to go the gym when you can take walks with the family, goto the playground, etc. Gyms cost way too much money and are highly
overrated. However, they do provide a little quiet time.

11. You have bags and bags of used baby goods that you don’t want to throw out.
      See, we don’t have that. When we are all about downsizing our lives and our house, etc. We are really focused on getting rid of the clutter. We have some things
that we have kept, but by in large, we are really focused on getting things out.

12. The other question you’re tired of is, “Which one is older?”
 After church each Sunday, we take the boys to get donuts and each Sunday, the same lady waits on us. And each Sunday, the lady always ask which is older.
It happens all the time, because wait for it, the boys are individuals and one is larger than the other. But they are their own individual person and at the end
of the day, does the 1 minute difference matter?

13. You’re the luckiest.
AMEN! People will ask, how do we do it? How are we able to afford twins? How are we able to chase after them all day? How are we able to spend time with both
of them? And it is simple, we are blessed beyond belief. We are blessed to have two healthy and wonderful little boys. We are blessed to be able to be the parents
of these little monkeys. We are blessed to have two little boys to love on and they love us back. So how do we do it? We just do and love every minute of it!

Being the parent of twin babies isn’t easy, but then again, being the parent of one baby isn’t easy either. There are constant worries and concerns. There is always the thought, are we financially prepared for this? How much will college cost? Are we doing ok as parents? Being the parent of twin babies isn’t a chore, it is a blessing! It is truly a gift and one that I am grateful to have been blessed with and I am just so happy that I have those little boys in my life.

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