Author's Posts

Life sometimes gets in the way of things, like blogging.  Life can sometimes get in the way of things that we enjoy too.

The last few weeks, I’ve felt like I’ve been in a fog of sorts. I’ve felt like there is a lot of noise from the political world, the work, home, etc. And I just haven’t been mentality able to sit down and write out a blog.

I feel like in someways, being a parent in this day and time is really hard. Cost of living is going higher each and every year. More dangers for our kids. More pressures at school and from the education side.

Life can be a struggle. But I think at the end of the day, it is really how we handle it. How we face these challenges. What we do to change the world to be a better place.

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I’ve heard this phrase, Self Care a lot lately, have you? I think that it is the new buzz word for 2016 and here at the base level, what Self Care? Here is a nice summation from the University of Kentucky

Self care includes any intentional actions you take to care for your physical, mental and emotional health.

Isn’t that sweet. Actions that you use to take care of your physical, mental and emotional health, what a load of bs! Am I being insensitive? Yes! Yes, I am. And why? Because it is a load of crap. As a parent, my kids come first. Would I love to take a day off and rest? Take a nap? Goto a baseball game? Grab a beer with a friend. Sure, but my responsibility is to my kids and I don’t have the luxury of taking a break.

We as parents, have to do what is right by our kids. We work for to provide, and many parents work multiple jobs to make ends met. My guess is that these same parents that talk to their friends about Self Care probably want their kids to get a trophy for showing up to a game and standing in the outfield chasing butterflies.

And more importantly, isn’t some of this really common sense? Think about it. If you are overweight, you work out to lose weight. If you are having mental or emotional issues, you talk with a friend or more importantly, you talk with a professional about your issues. This isn’t Self Care, this is freaking common sense.  But yet, there are people out there talking about Self Care and how they can charge you money on how to find a solution to get you Self Care.

I was talking with a co-worker this morning about our grandparents and how they were the greatest generation to live. They lived through and survived some of the toughest and darkest times of our country. Could you imagine our grandparents sitting around the fireplace talking about Self Care?
If your answer is yes, please don’t read my blog anymore, there is no hope for you. But if you answered no, you are right. They did what they had to do to survive. They worked through and figured out how to not only take care of their families, but also themselves.

If you need a good laugh, scroll through this quick search that I did on Google for Self Care.

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I’ve beyond slacked off as it pertains to my normal exercise routine.  I can give a million and one excuses, long commute, tired, would rather do anything other than working out, etc. But at the end of the day, I need to do more.

Today, the boys and I walked over to the playground instead of riding bikes. We ran, did jumping jacks, played tag, etc. The boys thought that they we were just playing, they didn’t realize that they were jump starting my exercise program. For the first time in a long time, I ran sprints. I tested my knee, which should be scoped and cleaned up again by my Orthopedic surgeon. But until then, I have to test it more. I have always tried to take it easy with my knee, which might have been a reason why I put off my exercising.

Today was the first day of my new work out plan. My goal is that on the weekend, get 2 work outs in a day and during the week, one long walk either before or after work and yoga. I felt great. My knee, didn’t, but it didn’t buckle which was a nice thing.  And as the boys and I walked home, I realized that as I watched the boys run, this was the first of many exercise days with them and they didn’t even realize how much they were doing for me.

 

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For the last several days, ok the past 5, my wife has been out of town. I’ve had to do all the cooking, cleaning, taking care of the boys, etc. Not that I don’t mind or even love doing it, but it has been a lot. But what I’ve realized more and more, is the amount of respect that I have for other parents.

The boys are able to do a lot for themselves, getting dressed, getting snacks out and in bowls, help with some cooking and picking up after themselves, but I have to say, I have a new profound respect for single parents. I was averaging getting an hour by myself each night before bed, to just rest. But that is the thing, I did it for 5 days, but what about the parents that do it everyday?

Parenting is a lot of hard work. There are so many things that go into a parents day, from the time that they wake up and getting the kids ready, to work, to returning home from work and picking up the kids, to making dinner, bed time, laundry, house cleaning and maybe a few minutes to themselves. And after 5 days, the amount of respect that I have for single parents is through the roof. I’ve done this several times, but this 5 day stretch was a little more than usual. The boys are able to do more, but they are able to get into more stuff too.

So, to those that wear the hat of both mother and father, to those that do it all, day in and day out. All I can say, is keep up the good work. Your children will notice. They will notice how hard you work and all that you do for them. They will notice the sacrifices that you make for them. They will see that when you get to the point that you can’t do or give anymore, you find away to force your way ahead. But more importantly, they too will have a lot of respect for you and will see how to be a parent and what to do or not to do when they have kids.

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This past week has been really one of reflection for me. Nothing too crazy going on, just different things in both the world happenings and also events that I’ve seen and experienced.

From the US News stand point:

  1. The events in Orlando this past weekend and the tragic murders of 49 innocent lives.
  2. The child that was taken by an alligator while on Disney property at one of the resorts.
  3. The musician that was shot by a fan after a concert in Orlando.
  4. I don’t even know where to begin on the upcoming US Presidential election. Clinton vs. Trump might drive everyone crazy for the next several months.

Personally:

  1. I can’t believe how quickly life has flown by for the boys. How in the heck did they end up turning 5? It seemed like yesterday I was rocking them to sleep.
  2. Moving back into my wife’s childhood home. Having more room. Turning our lives upside down. And becoming land lords.
  3. We’ve been working on paying down debt, done better some months than others. We are on track to increase our charitable givings this year, which is beyond awesome.
  4. We’ve been walking more and getting more exercise, which is great.
  5. I woke up to a song the other morning that Sober by Edwin McCain & it really helped put some perspective. I’ve usually had historically speaking 1 -2 beers a night & sure, there have been times where I would have 3 – 4 beers while watching a basketball game. But what I realized was, my kids are watching. One of the boys said that when he got older, he wanted to drink beer like me. Ouch. But more importantly, I really didn’t like the way I felt, even after 1 beer a night. So, it is time to really cut back the beer. For many reasons.

So, there has been a great deal of reflection over the last few days/weeks. And I hope that this reflection not only has helped me grow as a father, husband, friend, etc. but also helps me change and be a better person overall.

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Pre-K Graduation has come and gone and with that change, so comes a new daycare. One that is closer to the house and one that is within walking distance.

Leaving the old daycare was bitter sweet, as the boys really grew and learned a lot and really prepared them for Kindergarten. But with that, it was still another transition and change.

Today, the boys walked to their new daycare with my wife, excited and nervous, but walked in and immediately started playing. They transitioned a lot easier that we have, that is for sure. But as with this milestone passing, we prepare for the next. And as their first graduation has come and gone, we prepare for future events like this.

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It’s that time of the year, were families start planning or in my case, taking a family vacation. We decided to do a early vacation this year, instead of our traditional trip to the beach in September.

So tonight, we load up and head to a hotel about 45 miles away, spend the night and in the morning, we are taking the boys not only their first flight, but their first trip to Disney World!

So for the next week, the family and I’ll be on vacation and enjoying a week away and making memories.

 

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Happy Mothers Day to all the mom’s out there.

To my wife, thank you being a wonderful mom to the boys and making sure that they are taken care of.

To my mom, there are no words. You are have been my biggest support and sounding board and I don’t know what I would do without you?

To my sister, thank you for being a great mom to my niece and nephew.

And to all the moms that wear both the mother and father hat, there are no words. You are the best and there are not enough words that can be used to say it.

But to all the moms, Happy Mothers Day!

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Not something that I have had in probably 35 years, but this week I was fortunate to end up with Pink Eye. None of my kids had it, but apparently with sinus infections this year, pink eye has been part of it.

Being sick is really hard, but being sick as a parent, in my opinion is even harder. Because, it isn’t just having to take care of yourself to get better, it is also having to take care of kids and making sure that they are ok.  I’m beyond grateful for our medical system that was able to help the process to get me better, not only from the pink eye, but also the sinus infection.

Here’s to hopefully having a restful weekend and getting better.

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Looks like, after a solid week of sick kids, one having surgery and just an all out crazy week of life, it looks like things are finally on the mends.

Life is crazy enough without the outside factors. Our lives are all busy and we are all trying to juggle, but part of the juggling requires downtime too. We can only go but so hard and so fast before we fail too.

I’m really grateful that we live in an area and have access to great medical care and that the medical professionals were able to help both of my sons this past week. And as the boys and I talk about our day and at least one, if not two bike rides today, I’m just really glad that both of them are on the mends.

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