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I started the past a few days ago and I guess that I forgot to hit Publish! Which is really a key thing.
So, everyone is doing the Elf on The Shelf and honestly, for the last two years, the boys could have cared less. They just didn’t get into it, maybe for a day or two, but that was it. But this year, they are all about their Elf Chippy.

Like most parents, it is a challenge to think of new ways or places to put Chippy each night. But the reality of it is really simple, the boys are into it this year and it is keeping the more in line with their behavior. The boys missed behaved the other day and Chippy didn’t come back the next day from the North Pole and you would have thought their favorite toy had been trashed.

It is hard to keep up with doing this every night, but it is also a lot of fun to see the boys reactions when they see him or when they tell him good night. There is something very magical about Christmas, especially with kids. And one day, that magic will begin to fade, but today, right now and in this very moment, Christmas is real and it is provides the boys with hope for the arrival of Santa and the hope of new toys.

We have already started to go through certain toys and getting those out of the house and to children that are less fortunate in anticipation of new toys that will be filling the house very soon. So tonight, as we think about where Chippy will be flying off to next, we take a moment to watch the excitement of the boys faces as they look through the house until they find him.

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Today is a new day and it is for several reasons. The obvious doesn’t even need to be said, but late yesterday we got a letter from the boys physician to have Boy B to be tested for Sensory Processing Disorder and if you don’t know what it is or have never heard of it, neither had I, so take a read for yourself by clicking here.

This has been something that we’ve been dealing with for a while and there has been some improvements in his behavior and then some days, I feel that we take 3 steps back. But now, I feel like we have a direction. And with my son, he doesn’t hit all of the characteristics, but one of the biggest issues that we have been faced with is that when his schedule is changed at school, he really struggles to regroup and go with the change. His day is thrown off at school, not as much at home, but at home he can be upset for a period of time before transitioning into what we need for him to do.

So today, his teacher and the Occupational Therapist at his school are meeting today to formulate a plan based off of their observations and then we’ll all meet to discuss how to best help my son.  And please understand, outside of the change of schedule meltdowns, you probably would not even realize that there is something going on with him. He is a very normal child. He plays with toys and has a very interactive imagination, he loves to play with his brother and others, he enjoys drawing and telling stories and has even started singing, and he is actually ahead academically. But all that being said, he needs some help with his writing and fine motor skills and he needs some help with his behavior and how he adapts to changes.

I am still learning about Sensory Processing Disorder and trying to see what we can do at the house to also help him as well. The things that we can do in conjunction with the Occupational Therapist will only enable him to grow and learn how to be more successful.

So, today is a new day. A new day to embrace change and help for my son and help him learn to better cope with things.

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Failure is a word that I have used several times today to describe how I felt today. And yes, maybe failure is a strong word, but that is how I feel. I feel that I have failed my sons in someway, that I haven’t been able to help them as much as I should maybe, because that is the only explanation I have when both boys had bad days at school yesterday.

I don’t know if it is the adjustment back to school schedules from the Thanksgiving break or what, but Monday was great for the boys, but Tuesday, not so much. Boy A’s teacher emailed us last night letting us know that he didn’t finish his work and that he kicked a chair because he was frustrated and threw a pencil. THREW A PENCIL! Seriously? At 5? Not acceptable.

So that was one kid, Boy B got upset because a guest speaker came in and it completely threw his day off. Stomped his feet. Argued with his teacher. And it was just not a good day. The teacher called us 5 minutes after I walked in and filled us in on his day. Again, not acceptable, granted, there is a specific reason that we are dealing with as to why he behaved that way, but now we have to figure out a way to get him the help that he needs to help control his temper and his actions.

Today, I feel like a failure and that I have failed them with providing them with certain guidance and tools to help control their emotions. I know that I am doing all that I can and what is best for them, but right now, in this very moment, I feel that I am a failure.

But for now, as I sit at the office, I have time to work through this feeling. On my drive home tonight, I will have time to work through this feeling of failure. But as I walk into the house tonight, I need to hug both of them and talk with them about our expectations.

There will be a few new changes to the boys after school routine going forward.
1) There will be no more tv during the week. We usually give them 30 minutes to watch tv and relax after work. No more. Or at least not until things change. 2) No more seeing friends after school.
3) 30 minutes of free time and then it will be time to do homework, cleaning up toys and preparing for dinner and then bed.

As I type this, I still feel like I have failed them, but my hope is that as I walk into the house tonight, that I am able to realize, that I am preparing them for life and giving them the tools that they need to succeed.

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Post Thanksgiving and we survived. This was the first time that we had ever hosted Thanksgiving for our family and I have to say, it all went off without any problems.

The boys did well throughout the day and didn’t really require a lot of attention and they even helped us get things ready. The boys all in all had a great day and it seems to have come and gone really quickly. And now that I’m working on cleaning up dishes and putting away chairs, I thought that I would just sit and rest for a minute.

Today, I am thankful for healthy little boys, who everyday seem to amaze me just a little bit more with their continue growth, but physically but more importantly mentally and personality wise. I am truly blessed to have two really cool kids, who in their own right, do really amazing things. Today, I am thankful that we have live in a great country, that has great military that protects our freedoms, both domestically and afar.

This post Thanksgiving, I’m grateful for so many things, to include a few minutes to type this up as the boys are downstairs playing. And now, we take today to regroup and rest and tomorrow, we head out to pick out two Christmas trees.

 

 

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It is amazing what you can remember some days, but when I was a kid, my mom bought me a worry stone and I was allowed to use it when I felt anxious. Well, Boy B has talked a lot lately about feeling anxious and it hit me this morning after walking him to the bus, why not try a worry stone.

So while drinking another cup of coffee this morning, I thought that I would do a few quick searches and see if I could come up with a way to make my own worry stones for the boys, because then they could color them and really make them their own. Besides, my mother gave me a worry stone that was a rock and I just see that going through a window or against his brother’s head. So, here are some great resource that I found this morning, not just for the worry stone, but also for other things that can be made at home if you have anxious children.

The School Counseling Files – The Mind Jar idea and Fidget tools were awesome and will probably be made this weekend here. I’ve been having the boys to draw and color when they are frustrated or upset and use that as a way to deflect their anger.

Behavioral Interventions – Here is the worry stone that we are going to make this weekend. And I have a feeling that the boys are going to love doing this. Not only from the texture stand point, but being able to color and personalize their own worry stones.

Pinterest – what doesn’t Pinterest have?

Creative Elementary School Counselor – Here is another blog post about worry stones and how to make them at home.

I hope that these resources will be of assistance and once we finish the boys worry stones this weekend, I will post a photo of the final product and hopefully report back that some of these things have helped calm Boy B down a little and helped with his anxiety.

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We had our first parent teacher conference this year with the boys, to just get a status update for their first year of Kindergarten.  The conference was beyond eye opening and really beneficial, in hearing about the boys progress from both boys. But, the one glaring thing was that I see myself in Boy B. And it was really eye opening.

As a child and probably even more today, I needed/need structure in my day. I needed to know my schedule, as I do today. And when my schedule at home is changed today, it throws me off and sometimes, it throws me off big time. And as the teacher talked about Boy B and how he was having a hard time when the routine changed and when his schedule changed, it threw him. And all I kept thinking was, “I see myself in him.” And since that night, I’ve seen more things that I were subtle, but now appear to be not so subtle.

Growing up, when I would get frustrated, I would have to run. I would run around the house or wherever we were. But, I also got in trouble a lot too because of my frustration. I made a decision the day that the boys were put into my arms, that I wouldn’t discipline the boys, the way that I was. I wouldn’t react, but instead I would listen and try to reason, whenever possible.  And one thing that I was able to figure out, is that when I reason with Boy B and I get down to his level and point to my nose, he can snap out of his frustrations.

So as the teacher and I were talking about my childhood and the similarities became really clear, it became really oblivious that we were going to need some additional help.  The fact is, from an academic stand point, he is off the charts. He understands, remembers, comprehends, etc at or above expectations, but his outburst due to changes is holding him back. Funny, my mom said the same thing about me when I was his age, the difference was that I wasn’t a twin and they didn’t have names for disorders like they do today. And understand, I am not a Doctor nor do I pretend to be one, but I think that we know what we are dealing with and no, it isn’t Autism or anything like that. But whatever it is that we are dealing with, it is a mild case.

So, if all goes well, we will be seeing the Pediatrician next week in hopes to get some more answers, so that we can get him the tools that he needs. Because as I laid in bed the night after the conference, I kept saying how much I see myself in him and how I don’t want him to struggle with some of the things that I have, because of my inability to transition with changes to my schedule.

 

 

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Election night of 2016 has come and gone and we have a new President Elect. As a lover of politics, this election caught me off guard, but not to the same degree as it did to others. I thought that Hillary Clinton was going to win, but would have only won by a few points. But at the same time, I wasn’t going to be shocked had Trump would have won either.

But as a parent, the boys have started to get a better understanding of politics and that we have a President. And on election night, as I settled in for the night to begin watching returns to begin flowing in, the boys began really asking a lot of questions. As we talked through the process of how people voted and why, I could see it was slowly starting to click.

Keeping my personal politics out of the conversations with the boys, it was great to see how intrigued the boys were to learn more about our government and the process. And when on Wednesday morning, I told them that Donald Trump had won the election and that he would be our next President, it was neat to ask questions about the transition process and to have them ask questions about previous Presidents.

I hope that these talks with the boys inspires them and continues their interests in politics.

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So I am going to keep this as non political as possible, because as a parent, it is my job to provide tools for my kids, but not to deter their thought process in how they plan on voting as they grow up. As with any election, this is the most important of our current time. And I don’t say this lightly, as I much love politics, this election really could shape some factors of our country for years. The Supreme Court makeup alone, is going to be leveraged off of this election.

Why do I mention any of this? Really, it is for 1 reason, I’m really hoping to take my kids with me on Saturday to vote and this will be the first chance that I can really introduce them to voting. Again, if they ask specifically who and why I vote the way that I do, I’ll share with them. If not, then I will use this as a chance to introduce the overview of Government and also the purpose of checks and balances of our government system.

And I have thought long and hard about how I would talk to my sons about politics and it is hard. On one hand, I want to tell them my thoughts and opinions and then on the other, which is really the best approach, I want to just give them the facts and let them decide their own political views. And that is the way that I was raised. My parents gave me facts and allowed me to make my own decisions and as a result, I am the only registered (not say how my family votes) Republican on both sides of my family. I want to make sure that my boys know and understand how the government works. Respect and appreciate those, regardless of whether they agree with the politicians or not, but they respect that they have run for office, were elected and it is our hope that they make the best decision for this country.

So as I look at the current make up of this years election. I have a strong idea on how this is going to play out and I’m ok with that. I am not a fan of either of candidate, let’s make that clear. I also feel that 1 candidate would do less harm than the other, and I’m not saying that I am voting for either of the candidates. But I am focused on the state, city and county elections at this point.

My hope though this Saturday, is that my kids at an early age, see that I am doing my civic duty in voting and that they see that I’m trying to make a difference.

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One week later and I’m beyond grateful for the decision that I made when I finally said, I QUIT!

So, one week later and I have had 2 glasses of Red Wine in 7 days. That would be 1 night for me. Has it been hard, not really? I’ve substituted alcohol with water, a lot of water. About 110 oz to be exact. And that is over 1/2 my body weight, but not by much. And yes, there are articles that talk specifically to how much water that you should be drinking, which can be found here.

What other changes have I noticed in week 1? Well, not that much I guess? I didn’t spend any money at the liquor store, so that is 1 BIG difference, oh and I have 4 six packs in storage that I had purchased weeks ago, so I don’t need to go to the store for a while. So, saving money is a nice thing and I’m planning on taking what I would have spent this week at the liquor store and putting that money towards paying off debt.

Another change, I’m down 3 lbs this week! Sure, I’m peeing a lot, I mean, A LOT! But, I’m staying hydrated and I’m not drinking alcohol. So, that is yet another positive thing that I’ve noticed. And, I’m sleeping a lot better and more soundly. Granted, I wake up early anyway, but I feel more a wake when I first getup now.  I think Edwin McCain said it best in his song, Sober:

I’m a little worried, nothing’s spinning
I can walk a steady line
This unusual condition
Wasn’t by design

Sorry, I’m a little sober
In the morning I’ll be nursing and cursing
My clarity hangover

So, one week later and I’m so glad that I’ve made this decision. For so many reasons, both the obvious and those that aren’t, I’m glad that I had a clarity hangover this morning.

More to come…..

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Ok, I quit is a strong phrase, maybe it should be I am making a change?

Regardless, it is time to make some changes in my life and the first is to cut out alcohol. And I’m making the change for a many and one reasons, and these are in no particular order:

  • Health reasons – weight, sleep better, liver needs a break, etc.
  • Cost – I drink good wine and expensive craft beer
  • Habit forming – I didn’t like that I have started walking in and grabbing a beer.
  • I want to do everything that I can to be here for as long as I can for my kids
  • And I didn’t like who it was making me.

Now, for the record, I was not drinking to excess, but I was having more than I should. And I didn’t like the fact that it was making me sluggish and I wasn’t just having one in a sitting. So, it is time.

So today, instead of drinking 2 – 3 beers tonight, I’ll have 1. And then, I’ll goto 1 every other day. And just work it down. Does that mean that I will quit drinking beer and wine forever? No, I love to cook with both and I really do love the taste of a good glass of wine or a cold beer. But for today, today I need this. Today, I need to share with others and need to have someone that will help me stay focused on this and today, I quit. Today, I start a new day and  a new direction with a new focus. And as a bonus, I should be able to pocket about $200 + a month that was being spent on alcohol and shift that to paying down debt faster too!

So better heath, saving money, being a better dad all just seem to make this decision such a no brainer.

Today, I QUIT!

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