Sometimes adulting is hard. Granted adulting really isn’t a word, but to me, it just works.

The last two weeks have been a whirlwind for me and my family, well, really my wife and I. We have been in limbo as we have been actively discussing a job and a move. The pros and cons have been discussed a lot.

There were tears and concerns.  There was excitement and fears. But at the end of the day, we were back and forth on the possibilities and at the end of the day, we didn’t have a decision on what to do. I was back and forth on a daily basis and the boys had no idea. There was no need to share with them an unknown.

Over the last several days, I started leaning one way, but would occasionally float to the other decision for no rhyme or reason. I let a few people in on my decision and struggles with what I was going through and leaned on their thoughts, knowing that I had to make a decision.  Good friends will tell you what you need to hear, not necessarily what you want to hear, and I’m lucky to have good friends.

Last night I was watching the UNC basketball game and at some point in the second half, I made the decision. It was weird, I figured out sitting in the recliner and it just came to me out of the blue and I felt at peace. I texted a buddy of mine and I said that I knew what to do but that I was sleeping on the decision and let him know when I woke up.

“We are not moving.”

That was the text that I sent my buddy. I just knew and was 100% sure of the decision. I had struggled for days on the decision and struggled for weeks what might be. But, what I kept struggled with is how does this work? Can I be away from my boys for 5 days at a time and my wife? Would I be ok living out of a suit case? Sure it is for a short time, but my son’s need me, as much as I need them.

We depend on each other. Who would be there to sing Lyle Lovett at night? Who would be there to help me grill or cook? Who would be there to nag me about my clothes not matching? Sure, 2 months, that is what we would be talking about and yes people do this everyday, but I’m not everyone.

I literally felt like the weight of the world had been taken off my shoulders. And, I was at peace.

So tonight, I hug the boys and my wife. Tonight, after a lot of struggles and a lot of worrying, I am at peace.