Two words, that I never thought that I would ever type, let alone say, Brain Tumor. But, there it is. My wife had a brain tumor!
4:00 a.m. on a Friday morning, I was awaken to my wife having a seizure. At first, I wasn’t sure what exactly was going on, but it was clear that something wasn’t right. So, after quickly assessing the situation, I called 911 and within 8 minutes 4 guys from the fire house were walking in the house. And as my wife was coming out of the seizure, reality started to set in.
Fast forward 4 hours, I walk into the ER to see my wife, that is how long it took to get someone to come over and watch the boys and I’ll get to them shortly. But upon arriving, I knew something was wrong because everyone kept saying to get Melissa that I had arrived. And just like that, Melissa, who was the PA-C that was taking care of my wife, walked into the room, closed the door and asked me to sit down. I don’t remember exactly what was said before or after the words Brain Tumor were spoken, life just became a blur.
As we walked out of the ER that morning, with a scheduled first appointment with a world renowned neurosurgeon 4 days later and the knowledge that my wife was going to more than likely need to have brain surgery with 2 weeks. As we drove home, life became we were left with questions unanswered, but the brain tumor, what he the future held, how do we tell and prepare our kids, will she live?
Rarely do I show that I’m afraid. I’ve always believed that the father, should show emotions, but at the same time, reassure his family that things will be OK, even if they might not be. But this was one of those times, that I was vulnerable. I literally stood in the kitchen and felt paralyzed with fear and couldn’t put one foot in front of the other.
After meeting with the neurosurgeon a few days later from the diagnosis, we felt prepared. We felt, like we had the person that could help and we had a plan. The brain tumor was removed successfully. And we are will be forever grateful for the surgeon, but this isn’t a short process or treatment, this will be for life!
That’s right, my wife will need an MRI every 3 months, for the first year. Then, in year 2, it will be every 4 months. And at some point, it will be 2 years, but this is for the rest of her life. And without going into too much regarding that, we don’t actually know how long her life expectancy will be? The original pathology report told one thing, but this weekend, it was updated with a more serious finding.
But we have vowed to make the lives of our sons normal and stable. We will continue to do for them and to try to make a normal life, in a very not normal time. Between COVID-19 and now this, it has been a lot on the boys and oh yeah, they heard everything when I was on the call with 911. They heard me ask God to save her life, they heard me tell the 911 operator that she wasn’t responsive because she wasn’t. They heard it all. They saw the EMS team. They saw their mother being put into the back of an ambulance.
Life is not fair! And neither is having a brain tumor and neither is being almost 10 and having to see or hear or hell, live this way.
To my sons – I’m incredibly proud of how you both have responded and stepped up during this very stressful time. I am proud of how you both have been there to give a hug, when I”m on the verge of tears. Our families future, is a little bit of influx right now, but we have a lot of people that are there to help, so today, and moving forward, we take it one day at a time.