July 2017

Not sure what is going on with Boy B, but in the last week, there has been major regression in his behavior? Nothing has really changed, but something is going on.

I’ve noticed that once again, little things are setting him off. He is constantly talking about how anxious he is and how frustrated he is getting. I have analyzed his schedule and the surrounding factors and nothing makes sense. The only variable, was that my wife was gone for 6 days and that is the only change in his schedule.

His eating and sleeping has been on schedule, day care, etc have to. But this week has been rough. He has been out of sorts and has been hard to deal with at day care. These are the moments of frustration for me as a parent. These are the times that I try analyze the thought process of a child and their thinking. And the reality is, there is no logic.

As a parent, especially those of us with children that have issues or whatever label you chose to place on them, it is hard. I feel that I have to always adapt and that I have to always analyze his moods and behaviors.  I really feel that we started to turn the corner and getting things on track. But he has really had a major step back with this regression with his behavior.

Prior to my son starting OT and seeing a child psychologist, he would scream and yell and jump up and down when he did not get his way. He would loose control in a second. As we started working on certain things, specifically fine motor skills in OT and he was on a routine with the child psychologist, things got better. We say immediate results and transformations.

So, when things get off course like this past week, it really makes it hard and then you add on top of that, my wife was in a serious car accident this week as well.  Life has been hard and parenting is hard work too and sometimes it just doesn’t all make sense.  But I really hope that we can get to the bottom of this regression and turn it around because with everything else going on, I really hope to get it together.

 

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Perspective is the word of the day. And let me frame it up in a different way, often times we look at things in one way, but in reality, when we step back, we have a different point of view or way that we look at something. Perspective!

Yesterday before walking into a meeting, my wife called to let me know that she was heading to pickup the kids and just left the office. Maybe, 15-20 minutes later, my phone rang, I just had a feeling that this was not going to be good. I knew that it was rainy. I knew that the road that she was traveling on is congested. I just had a bad feeling and I was right.

So as I hurried out of the office and on the way to where my wife was on the side of the road, because she had been rear ended, every possible thought that I could have had, I did. I knew that she was ok and not hurt, I knew that she was upset and I knew that her van was more than likely totaled. But here comes that moment of perspective, cars can be replaced, people can not. Our boys were not with her, they would have been hurt and possibly pretty badly.

After dealing with some emotional components to this, i.e. my wife’s mother was killed exactly 50 miles north of where we stood on the side of the road. Looking at what was the back windshield and seeing all of the glass shattered throughout the back. Seeing how the front of the van was pushed in, because the force of the impact of where my wife was rear ended and then being pushed about 2 car links into the car in front of her and the damage that was done.

Waiting for my wife to be checked out last night for either a concussion or whiplash. Seeing how she was moving slowly and already getting sore and tense. Making the call to USAA last night to start the claims process. Waking up to a 7:30 call from the car rental, asking what time we would arrive. Realizing this morning, that we had paid about 6 months off of the car loan and that we were at about a year and 8 months before it being paid off and then I was going to get something new and then realizing, I wasn’t.

Perspective is when thinking logically through each and every one of those things and knowing that the days/weeks and maybe month ahead will be stressful. Knowing that we now have to buy a new car and that really wasn’t in the budget, at all. Life doesn’t always work the way that we have planned. But, it could have been a lot worse. Perspective. Perspective sometimes takes a little while, maybe even days before it is realized, but I am just thankful and grateful.

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As a parent, we deal with a constant change. What happens happen today, might completely change tomorrow.  This is all part of life, right? Of course, but when there are other factors involved, it does make it a little more challenging.

I feel lately that we have been in a state of constant change with Boy B. One minute, things are great, the next he is beating up his brother. Granted, having had a younger sister, I get the fighting thing, but only to a point. And my wife, who is an only child, doesn’t get it.

I have seen so much growth in my son that it is beyond amazing. And yet, when the outbursts happen or he hits his brother, it feels that we took a few steps back. BUT and this is the most important thing, even though we have these issues, he is growing out of many that he had and the outbursts are decreasing.

So in a state of constant change, it is good to see a lot of growth. And with it being the summer and less structure, that has not helped with some of the behaviors that we have seen as well.

 

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