February 2015

Today was a day that I would like to forget.  Nothing was going right. Work. Personal life. Nothing. But, 2 words made the difference in my day, “I Promise”.

Yes, there is more to this story and it is a personal story that I have and will only share with a small group of friends and that is it. So this post may not make a lot of sense to a lot of people, but to me, it made my night.

My day started off with a longer commute than usual and really, for no reason because there was no traffic on the roads that should have slowed traffic down by 45 minutes. Then, I walk into a day full of meetings, mixed with working on my budget for team and then getting a last minute project that I need 5 days and only have 3 to complete. So stress was definitely high from work.

Then my wife call and I knew immediately something was not right. She said 1 thing and my heart sank and took me back 6 years. I could not breathe, my heart was racing a second, I felt scared and uncertain about life. I just knew that in that moment, I needed to see my kids. No one was hurt. No was in danger. But in a split second, I was transported back to a Saturday morning a little over 6 years ago.

After working late, I got home and was able to play with the kids for a little bit and when it was time for bed, Baby A and I went up first. We were talking, he was playing, I was trying to find some music on my phone for bedtime, when he quietly came up, hugged me and looked me dead in the face and said “I PROMISE that I’m not going to leave you.”

It was in that moment, that I broke down. I sighed and felt like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders.  Again, no one is sick, hurt, etc. So for those reading this that do not know the full story, this might not make sense, but for me, the words I PROMISE were life changing.  In 2 words, a sense of faith was restored. In 2 words my wife and I made decisions for our future and our children’s future. In 2 words, I got an inner peace that I haven’t felt in a while and I felt like everything was ok.

It is truly amazing how 2 words from a soon to be 4 year old, can effect an almost 40 year old father and change their life.

Thank you son.

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Husband, Father, Grandfather, Friend, Mentor or to millions of fans, he went by Coach. Saturday night, basketball lost an icon, but a family lost their leader. And by family, I mean both literally and physically, you see Dean Smith created the Carolina Family and whether he wanted the attention or not, he was the one that started it all.  Dean Smith was and is and will always be the face of Carolina Basketball and Saturday, as he passed away at the age of 83, that fact still remains.

As I have had time to reflect on this, it is hard. It is hard hearing of the lost of someone. It is hard knowing that his family and friends are suffering. It is hard to hear and read countless number of stories being told over the last 48 hours.  Stories from his former players and coaches, friends, politicians, even President Obama released a statement about the death of Dean Smith. But there seems be a lot of common thoughts and memories that are being reflected on, and that is of humbleness.  I had the privilege to have met Coach Smith several times, through his basketball camps and then at a few Ram’s clubs events throughout my childhood. And each time that I got to spend, even just a few minutes with him, he made me feel that I was the only one there. He asked me questions about my family, my interests, my goals in life. And then he gave advice, the advice that any coach would give, study hard, do your best and give your all.

As a kid, Coach Smith was bigger than life. I remember watching him walk the sidelines, teaching his players and encouraging them. These are all things that I hope that I learned through his camps, reading his books, hearing stories and meeting Coach, that I’ve been able to translate into my career. When I refer to my team, it is always “We”, even if I did the work, because we are a team first. If someone on my team makes a mistake, I wait and meet with them privately and we discuss it and discuss how we avoid making the same mistake again. Say thank you to the those that help you most. But one thing that really stands out, do what is right. It is pretty basic actually and for a man that did not want to be in the lime light, today he is and he is being remembered mostly, not for the Wins and Loses, but how he lived his life.

“On what it means that today is more about the person that smith was than his win total: “It means he did it. He was successful. sitting at the cafeteria counter was more important than wins and losses… It means he won.”  Roy Williams, UNC Basketball Coach

 

As I sit and watch this clip, I am immediately taken back to my childhood. As I read stories from Adam Lucas’s post “The Stories Are True“, I can not help be sad. When you read stories about Dean Smith recruiting Charlie Scott, when you read stories about he and the minister taking Charlie to eat to break down the race barriers, when you read that he went to almost everyone of his former players weddings and how he was the father that many of these young mean never had. When you read these stories, how can you not be sad? Coach was a good man. And God just got one helluva basketball coach.

Press Conference from current UNC Basketball Coach Roy Williams.

I will close with two thoughts:

1) Matthew 25:23 – “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’

2)  Coach, tonight it is all about you. You gave to others, as though few ever got to see. You gave of your time and of your heart and you changed lives. Tonight Coach, sleep easy and take comfort in knowing that you were loved by millions.

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When I read this story, I just could not believe what I was reading and if you haven’t read this story about a
Dad Refuses to Give Up Newborn Son With Down Syndrome this is one tough dad.

I can’t even imagine being given the option of choosing between my wife and my child, but I think that this dad is amazing.  As I read this story, I just couldn’t even put myself in his place. I couldn’t imagine that if a Doctor put one of my children in my arms and said that they had Down Syndrome and do nothing but love my child. Is it going to be a hard road for them, yes, but this is one tough dad that must be an amazing guy.

 

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There are times in your life, when you see things or experience things that are life changing. Recently, I had that happen to me and I can not really explain it.  My best friend John and I were talking about life, work, etc. and he just quickly said, you have to watch the movie Chef. I told him that I had heard about the movie and he simply, go and watch it tonight, if you don’t relate or love it, I’ll reimburse you for the movie.  Win win, right?

As I watched the movie, 2 words came to mind, LIFE CHANGING! My friend John was right!  I’ve been at a place in my career that I could relate to Carl and his passion and finding his love again. There have been days that I have literally closed my eyes and written html code and not only did I write it, it was right. As I watched the movie, I realized that I was Carl, minus one thing, I haven’t figured out the passion yet. I think that I know what it is, but will not know for sure for a few more weeks.

But if you haven’t seen the movie Chef, please take the time to watch it, because it is truly Life Changing. Below is the trailer:

But do yourself a favor, if you are unsure of your life, if there is something missing, watch this movie. You’ll realize what is important in life and I hope that it helps you move in the right direction of happiness.

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