September 2014

I love going home and having conversations with the boys. The tell me about their day at school, what they did, playing with their friends and usually what they ate for lunch. To see how they get excited over playing ball with a friend is just awesome.

I just never knew having twin three year old boys could be this much fun! And as they are growing up, and conversations change, it is getting even better. They are able to tell me what they want to eat each night for dinner, clothes that they want to wear for bedtime.

With the transition to a new daycare, one thing that I’ve really noticed is that Baby B is really starting to come out of shell and talk more. He is having more and more conversations with his brother and us for that matter. He is now being forced to talk more, which has been great.  He is now asking for things that he would never do and talking about playing and sharing. But to be able to listen to the conversations between the boys is truly the best. Baby B will grab their coats and let his brother know that he has his coat that he is ready to go home now.

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When the boys were younger, I looked forward to quiet time each day, not only because it afforded me time to get things done, but also because it allowed the boys a chance to rest. But now that the boys are three, quiet time is a rare things these days.

But last night, I got a glimpse of the quiet time that I so miss. We got the boys fed and ready for bed by 7:30 and they were out. We took them on a 3.2 mile walk yesterday and though they sat in the stroller, after the walk they did a lot of running. But it really wore them out and me too for that matter. And at 7:31, I closed the door to the boys room, walked downstairs, grabbed a beer and turned on college football.

It was amazing. It was also too quiet. I am use to with nose. Kids laughing or fighting, my wife talking, interacting with the kids, etc. But last night there was quiet time.

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I blogged a few weeks ago about Ray Rice, then the full video was released and he was released by the Baltimore Ravens and suspended by the NFL.  Since the fall out of the incident, several other NFL players have been either arrested and/or it come to light that they had hit their spouse or significant other.  Ray Rice, Greg Hardy, Ray McDonald, Jonathan Dwyer, and though Adrian Peterson didn’t hit his spouse, it is alleged that he hit his son(s).

So here is the question, why? Why do men feel the need to hit women or their kids? I was not raised that way and I sure as heck will not raise my children to ever raise their hands to a woman and make her feel scared. Each case is different. Each case is currently being tried in a court of public opinion, but not in a court of law. Ray Rice’s case is not up for being reconsidered, as it would fall under double jeopardy, but McDonald, Dwyer and Peterson will have their day in court.

As father’s, it is our job to raise our sons to be leaders, role models, respected men in the communities, not beating those that can not defend themselves.  There are several issues at hand & these are strictly my opinions:

1) The NFL has not acted swiftly enough or handed out strict penalties thus far for domestic violence crimes.
2) For the record, I do not fall in the category of those that believe that the Baltimore Ravens conspired with the NFL to get Ray Rice a shorter sentence. I was fortunate enough to meet Ray a few years ago and he could not have been nicer to my sons. He talked with them and interacted with them and signed a photo for them. Was the Ray Rice incident blown out of proportion? In my opinion, no. From what I saw in the video, he punched his now wife in the face. Should be suspended indefinitely, no, as he needs to earn a living. But, does that mean that he should sit out a year, or two, yes. But that is up to the commissioner of the NFL. 3) Our society, especially father’s, are not there for their kids. I don’t mean all the time, but father’s and I am included in this, need to be present more for our kids. They want and need our attention, so shouldn’t we give that to them? Shouldn’t we want to put our phones away and spend time with our kids? But in doing so, we need to ensure that we are teaching our kids right from wrong, good vs. evil, etc.
4) As it pertains to the Peterson case, if it is true that he just spanked his son with a switch, let’s be honest, there are not enough jail cells in America to hold all  of our grandparents and parents. But, again, if we as father’s show that we don’t have to spank first and then talk to our kids, but reverse that so that we talk with our children, I really believe that we will get things going on the right track.

Having worked with professional athletes before, both at the MLB level, as well as the NFL, it is easy to get caught up in the hype that these guys play a game that we all love. But they are humans. They do bleed if you cut them. They will snap if you push too hard. It appears that the public is starting to grow weary of the NFL and the antics of some of their players. But until the NFL really gets serious, does any of this matter?

Father’s spend time with your kids. Talk with them. Take an interest. DON’T BECOME A STATISTIC.

The NFL is just a game, but hurting a spouse or child is a life altering decision.  Domestic violence is a serious thing and NO ONE should live a life of fear.

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The boys have been doing great with potty training. While we were on vacation, there were was one potty accident per each child, the entire 12 days that we were gone.

Today, the boys went back to their new preschool for their first full week and each boy had two accidents today alone. It was as if we took a step back today. I realize that a lot has to do with change. A new place, even though they have been several times.

Change is hard on children. Divorce. New preschool, moving, etc. can cause a minor step back, but we are trying to provide as much positive praise and encouragement and getting the boys acclimated again to their routine.

For my wife and I, we have spent so much time focusing on the boys potty training, that at first this minor step back was frustrating, but as we talked through all the changes that the boys are going through, ie. A new daycare, a long vacation and no longer at being at home everyday, we are changing what they have really known for a long time. But we both agree that once we get into the new daycare routine, we feel that the potty training issues will subside.

Patience and a lot of love and encouragement. That is what we are focusing on this week.

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Today my wife and I celebrate our sixth wedding anniversary while we are on vacation.  As all couples, we have had struggles and challenges, but with those adversities, we came out stronger and closer.

We have had several family members to pass away, including a tragic accident that took my wife’s mother 3 months after we got married. We dealt with challenges in getting pregnant,  disa

ppointment when tests returned negative and blown away when we were told that we were having twins.

We have both had struggles and challenges with our careers, but throughout each challege, we came out stronger and closer together. So tonight as we celebrate our anniversary with our friends and family on our last night of our vacation, I am just thankful for the life that I get to live.

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it is about 11pm and I am sitting out on the porch at the beach, doing a little star gazing. And I wonder if the stars got a little brighter tonight?

I got a call around 7pm from my Godfather, but since I was putting the boys to bed, I had to let the  call goto voice mail.  This was not our usual call about the Yankees, politics, UNC basketball or the boys.  This was a call to let me know that this brother in law, a man that I have known my whole life, was caught if a rip current today and died.

After hours of phone tag and text messages, I just got word that George passed away.  I can’t sleep.  I mourn for BJ & the boys.  I mourn for my Godfather tonight. I remember George being larger than life.  I just saw BJ a few months ago.  This doesn’t seem real.

So tonigtt, I say a prayer for the family and for Geoger’s soul.  I pray that BJ is strong through this and is comforted by those around her.

And tonight, as I rock, looking at the ocean and listening to the waves crash & watching distant lightening crashes, I am start gazing and trying to make sense out of something that dowse t make sense.

Tomorrow, I will hug the boys tighter and I will treasure the moment, as that is all that we have.

 

 

 

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Thirteen years ago today, America stood in silence. Our country forever changed, families forever changed, people were forever changed.

Today, as we stand in silence at 8:46 am, which was when the first plane hit the World Trade Center Towers, we remember. At 9:03, the second plane hit the World Trade Center Tower, we remember. At 9:37 a plane hits the Pentagon, we remember. And at 10:03 the final plane landed in a field in PA and we remember.

To those that lost their lives that day, we remember. To the families that were left behind, we remember. It has been thirteen years since America stood in silence and it is a day that will be etched in everyone’s memories.

God Bless America and God Bless those that were lost that day.

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A few months ago, the Baltimore Ravens running back, Ray Rice was accused and ultimately charged with hitting his wife. Now, after being suspended from the NFL for 2 games, additional footage has been released of Ray Rice punching his now wife in the face.

Here is the thing. No man, unless they are being physically attacked, should they every lay their hands on a woman. EVER. And, if they are being attacked, they should never punch a woman in the face. They should only defend themselves to get away from the situation.

In my opinion, what Ray Rice did was uncalled for and the NFL, if it is true and that they watched the entire video, be ashamed for only suspending him for 2 games. The NFL has an obligation to the athletes and fans, and for this action to take place and Ray Rice only receive a 2 game suspension is a disgrace to women.

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Doing what is right, is not always easy, but sometimes it can be life changing.  And that is exactly what happened with the Cincinnati Bengals Defensive tackle Devon Still.

I love sports. I LOVE sports. I could watch football or basketball all day. Don’t get me wrong though, even though I love sports, it is a business. Teams have budgets, (minus the NY Yankees) that have to be kept, but they have responsibilities to their fans, their vendors, their players, their employees, etc. but sometimes, teams get it right. Sometimes, the business side of sports gets puts to the side and a team does what is right to help a player.

Devon Still’s daughter was diagnosed with Stage 4 pediatric cancer in June and even though Devon was in camp and trying to earn a spot on the team, he was cut. But, instead of cutting Devon completely from the team, the Cincinnati Bengals signed Devon to their practice squad, which allowed him to still be paid, still have insurance for his daughter and most importantly, since she was being treated in Cincinnati, he gets to stay close to his daughter. Could the Bengals have cut Devon and said that he was taking a valuable spot on their team, sure. I am sure that if they had, everyone would have said, it was business.

Instead, they are doing what is right. They have taken care of a player who is going through a lot in his life right now. He is trying to work and provide for his family, while at the same time, he has to be worried to death about his daughter. Today, the Cincinnati Bengals have been caught doing what is right. They put the needs of a person, above the business.

Take a moment to watch this video: https://gma.yahoo.com/cincinnati-bengals-sign-devon-still-help-pay-daughters-145953313.html?vp=1

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This past week has been a challenge as we have been having a lot of bed time struggles with Baby A.  Our night time routine has been completely throwing off and I’m not really sure as to why?

We have kept the same routine, dinner, bath, watch a quick YouTube video, read a story, rock and quiet time. But the last weeks, he has wanted to go downstairs for toys, he has needed us to lay down beside him until he goes to sleep, he has thrown a fit, he has screamed, well you get the idea.

Bed time struggles seem to be a common issue at this age, so that isn’t that big of a deal. And it could be growth spurts, changes with the boys routine and as we prepare to transition to a new daycare facility. But, the last few weeks have definitely been a challenge at night time, often times taking an hour and a half to two hours.   And there has been an increase in night terrors as well, which has been on average 1 to 2 per week for Baby A.

And as usual, Baby B just puts himself to bed and is usually asleep within a few minutes. Bless that child. This is just yet another challenge in the life of twin boys, bed time struggles.

 

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